Judge — May 16, 1914 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

omy, en why °Guip- 8 false articles » Toop Rage; 8 your Which Y cost Y are bar aks, ng, and of His Country seems to be changing. I vm inclined to believe that many colored em eats are naming their offspring after Pullman cars. This theory is altogether reasonable, considering the fact that so many of the proud fathers are porters. I know of one such father on the Penn- sylvania lines whom I refer to as George. George has quite an interesting family, consisting of Marcella, Gonzella and Poin- cana. Marcella, I hasten to inform you, is a boy, and when his school principal recently suggested that he change it to Marcellus, there was an indignant protest from his mother. Which rambling thoughts lead me to a story | must tell you. Clifford Barnes, of the Sunday Evening Club, was leaving his office in the Otis Building when he encountered in the hallway two little pickaninnies, evidently the children of one of the subjanitors. “What's your name?’’ he demanded of the older of them. “Ma name,"’ rep! ied the little fellow, “ig Hubert Gladstone St. Ignatius Brown.”” “And your brother’s name?’ asked Bari “His name am jes’ Pieface.""—Chicago Inter-Ocean, Life Savers—An English policeman en- tered the house of a publican one morn- ing and informed him that it would be necessary to hold an inquest there in the afternoon. Now, the landlord had a great objection to anything of the kind, and said, ‘‘Oh, Ican't be troubled with inquests in my house. Here, what'll you have to drink?” Robert said he'd have a drop of Scotch, which he did. “Have a cigar, too,’’ said the host. After the consumption of two Scotches and cigars, the constable said he thought he could get the inquest held somewhere else; but as he was leaving, the Jandlord remarked, “By the way, whom are they going to hold the inquest on?”” “No one as I know of now,’’ said the man in blue; ‘‘but it ‘ud ’a’ been on me if hadn't had these drinks an’ smokes.”” —London Tit-Bits. First Impressions Some men’s notion of economy is to sit around with a ten-cent cigar in their mouth and growl because the wife leaves the hall light turned on, Allis not lost. The price of pearls is slumping a little. The stenographer who weds her boss usually quits taking dictation immedi- ately after the marriage. Our idea of an optimist is the man who can at least be thankful these days that he doesn’t have to empty the pan under the icebox.— Peoria Journal. Evident — Duncan Macpherson was a hard-headed old Scot, one of the unusual kind who loved neither the kirk nor the minister. On the icy pavement he slipped and fell, and as he sat there gathering his wits, the minister, who chanced to pass, said, ‘Macpherson, the sinner Stands on slippery ground."” “Aye,"’ said Duncan dryly; ‘I see ye.""—Argonaut. THE At first-class Wit CHARTREUSE SUPERB LIQUEUR OF THE AGES UNVARYING IN CHARACTER UNSURPASSED IN EXCELLENCE MONKS’ FAMOUS CORDIAL Merchants, Grocers, Hotels, Cafés BATJER & CO. 45 Broadway, New York, N. Y. Sole Agents for United PRESERVE YOUR COPIES OF JUDGE in a handsome binder which we offer you for $1.50, express prepaid. This binder will last for years, as it is heavily reinforced and it is soarranged tha nserted as they are received. Sectional posts a issues can b pansion. A bound file of Jupce is very appropriate for your library table and a source of pleasure at all times. Address JUDGE diamond mounti Meation — afies,, Willjsend soa a gramination — Arges prepaid. Money refunded if not satisfactory, 3 ‘No mone: 22S FIFTH AVENUE, NEW YORK yin ‘Uniay for free catalog, VALLEY GEM CO., 773 Wulsin Bidg., Indi HaveYoua Dime to Invest? Just send it to us and we'll send you our catalog of JODGE ART from which to make your This catalog 1 of pictures, ns 62 reproductions of pictures The variety by well-known artists. of subjects is large and you will find prints to help make your home attractive. Our supply is limited—so send today—use stamps many or coin. Judge So hard they easily seraten a file anil Mieture Deparimer will cat ginss. Brilllancy guaran: Vieture Departn tecd 28years. Mounted in}tk solid gold 225 Fifth Avenue New York OF FINE WHISKEY WILL PRONOUNCE BALTIMORE RYE In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. A GOOD JUDGE HUNTER J A A UNTER wh) A PERFECT PRODUCT OF THE STILL, BECAUSE WHISKEY CANNOT BE MORE CAREFULLY MADE, AGED ANDO PERFECTED Sold at all first-class cafés and by jobbers WM. LANAHAN & SON, jaltimore, Mi comicbooks.com