Judge, 1914-05-09 · page 19 of 25
Judge — May 9, 1914 — page 19: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two distinct elements: **Left side:** An anecdote about John K. Tener, president of baseball's National League, recounting a humorous story about a drunk pinch hitter so intoxicated he sees three bats instead of one. When instructed to hit the middle ball, the player swings at the middle *bat* instead, missing entirely. The joke plays on the player's alcohol-impaired perception and logic. **Right side:** Primarily advertising for B.V.D. brand underwear, using a satirical office scene showing a disheveled, uncomfortable man without proper undergarments amid colleagues. The ad suggests that B.V.D. underwear is essential for summer comfort and dignity. A smaller inset shows the product's distinctive red woven label as proof of authenticity. The page also includes hotel and water advertisements. The humor relies on period assumptions about masculinity, propriety, and product necessity that modern readers would recognize as dated marketing rather than legitimate practical advice.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
About Diamond Stars ohn K. Tener © } Presidest & UB National League iS AS EVERY good and loyal rooter knows, Governor John K. Tener, of Pennsyl- vania, president of the National League, was a great ball player in his more youth- fal days, and though he was called from the green diamond to take up the duties of various official positions, he never for a moment permitted his interest in the national pastime to flag. He has accumu- lated a fund of good yarns dealing with the players, but the best of these, as toldin the Governor’s own words, runs like this: “On the roster of a certain baseball club was a player whose great failing was that he believed alcohol was a food, and his habit of partaking liberally of his favorite nourishment was notorious. His ng, after a time, prevented him from filling a regular berth with his team; but because of his ability to pound the ball, he was retained as a pinch hitter. “One day, when he had dined in ac- cordance with his pet theory, the mana- ger found it necessary to call upon him during a ticklish period of a game, when the score was tied, two men were down, a player was on third, and a hit meant the w rinalng of the contest. Bill, go out there and take a t that ball!’ ordered the leader of b, pinch hitter rose slowly to his feet and began swinging a heavy bat, Pre atory to facing the pitcher. y, boss,’ he blurted out, with a puzzled air, ‘I see three balls and three bats!" “*Well, never mind! Hit the middle ball,” suggested the manager. “Although the player swung hard three times at the pellet, he did not make even 1 tip. “Say, didn’t I tell you to hit at the middle ball?’ roared the angry manager, when the player had completed the long walk back to the bench. ““Oh, I swung at the middle ball, all tight,’ replied the pinch hitter. ‘The only trouble was that I forgot myself and used the outside bat.’ ”” GREAT BEAR SPRING WATER. “Its Purity Has Made It Famous: Soc Der case of 6 klum stoppered bottles {ter} He Mops In Misery Without B.V.D. TYPICAL summer day—a typical office scene—a round of smiles at the mingled discomfort and discomfture of the man who hasn’t found out that B.V.D. is ‘the first aid” to coolness. You, of course, have B. V.D. on or ready to put on. If not, march to the nearest store and get tt. For your own welfare, fix this label firmly in your mind and make the salesman show it to you. If he can’t or won't, avalk out! On every BV. D. Under- garment is sewed This Red Woven Label MADE FOR THE + (Trade Mark Reg. U, 8. Pst. OF. and Ferrign Countries) B.V.D. Coat Cut Undershirts and Knee Length Drawers, $0c., 7Sc., $1.00 and $1.50 the Garment. B.D. its (Pat. U. S.A. 4-30-07) £1.00, $1.60, $2.00, $3.00 and $5.00 the Suit, TheB.V.D.Company, NEW YORK, London Selling Agency: 66, Aldermanbury, B. C. HOTEL EARLINGTON 27th Street, West of Broadway, NEW YORK QA Step from Broadway. @ Quiet as a Village at Night. Q Absolutely Fireproof. Your Comfort Our Aim Always. SINGLE ROOMS, $1.00 Parlor, Bedroom and Bath, front of house, one person, $2.00; two people, $3.50; Why pay more when our service is equalled only by the best? EUROPEAN PLAN E. W. WARFIELD, Manager In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com