Judge — May 9, 1914 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Fable of the Wind and the Sun (Revised) ONCE upon a Time the Wind and the Sun got into an Argument as to which of the Two was the more Powerful and Useful. The Sun maintained that it was he who warmed Things here below, and that, de- prived of his Beneficent Rays, this Merry Globe of Gladness would become a Ball of Gloom, bleaker than an English Christ- der than the Polo Grounds when ants lose and colder than a Corpora- ul. The Wind, on the other hand, claimed that, without his Cooling Influences, this Old World would Cook and Stew, until Hades would seem like a Summer Resort and Red Hot Cinders taste like Ice Cream Cones. The Argument grew Angry and seemed likely to end Nowhere, when the Wind suggested that the Question be settled by Test. An Unsuspecting Citizen was at that Moment pursuing his way along a Lonely Road, and it was agreed that whoever could compel the Man to remove his Coat would win the Bet. The Wind took a try at it, but at the first Cold Blast, the Man buttoned his Coat the tighter; thereupon the Wind lashed itself into a Gale and Blew so Hard “The Wind lashed itself into a Gale and Blew so Hard that it took the Fellow off his Feet.'’ that it took the Fellow off his Feet, dashed him against a Tree and rolled him into a Ditch. About this Time he began to re- semble a Rag Doll that had been chewed by a Bull Pup, but he still wore what was left of his Coat. Here the Sun rolled up his Sleeves and proceeded to beat down so Hotly on the Man's Bare Head that the Poor Fellow Another dessert delight. DORA oan WHER AF ecTiON NABISCO | Sugar Wafers HESE incomparable sweets are the most universally popular of all dessert confections. Whether served at dinner, afternoon tea or any social gathering, Nabisco Sugar Wafers are equally delightful and appropriate. In ten-cent tins; also in twenty-five-cent tins. ADORA Wafers of pleasing size and form with a bountiful confectionery filling. Another help to the hostess. In ten-cent tins. BISCUIT COMPANY became Sunstruck and was finally carted off to the Hospital, where he died of Brain Fever. When Great Powers war, it’s the Com- mon People who get it in the Neck.—s. s. An Apparent Impossibility “Many things that seem unbelievable turn out to be perfectly plausible,’ philo- pessimistically remarked the Old Codger, “and many seeming impossibilities are in reality entirely probable. But, some- how, when a great man comes to town, and I am introduced to him in about this wise, ‘Senator Smugg, this is Squire Aw- humhaw,’ my name being mommixed up in the usual way by the local Chesterfield, and the statesman grasps my honest hand with the clunging clutch of an octopus and declares with orotund unctuosity that he is gul-lad to see me, I wonder if it can be possible that he is really as overwhelm- ingly overjoyed as he claims to be?” Fatally Bored The lecture had been long, preachy and unrelieved by humor, but at its close a sad-faced, earnest-looking man strode emphatically to the stage and grasped the speaker by the hand. “Dr. Neverend,”’ he said heartily, ‘‘I want to assure you yourmessage to-night will have a marked effect on the life of every nervous, fretful, impatient man who heard you.’ “‘Indeed!’’ cried the delighted lecturer. “You really believe it will affect their whole lives?”’ “Undoubtedly,’’ declared the sad-faced man; ‘‘it will shorten them."’ In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com