Judge — April 25, 1914 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Meddling REFORMERS there are in great num- ber, but the persons who do not like to be called reformers, but who set out to correct, amend, ameliorate, im- prove or remodel the rest of mankind, are also very numerous and active, JS and their devices amaze | Cosh when they do not amuse. aS =A body of such per- sons has just been incorporated, under the name of the American Posture League, whose purpose it is to correct the “‘slinker slouch’’ and as many other unprepossess- ing mannerisms in the deportment of the classes and the masses as can be discov- ered and treated, presumably by peacea- ble means. It may be legitimate for such a re- forming body to attempt to correct every- thing from pigeontoes on the casual pe- destrian to the audible drinking of soup by the man in a hurry in a cheap restau- rant, but perhaps certain amendments to the Constitution that now guarantees life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness to the average citizen might be a condi- tion precedent to wholesale meddling with individual habits. If the growth of leagues for this or that more or less impertinent purpose re- lated to human conduct continues, it may not be long before the United States will be forced to annex various other contigu- ous populations, inorder that each league may be assured of a working quorum to prosecute its business. Treasure Hunting THE TREASURES of pirates and free- booters have been looked for by per- sons of sanguine temperament and imag- ination for ages. Laziness and a hunch have caused many a man along the Atlantic coast to believe that by digging here and there in promis- ing spots he could unearth the loot of Captain Kidd or some other pirate and thereafter dwell in luxury, Everything from a dream book to a divining rod has been called into requisition for this pur- pose, but no result has been chronicled that would discourage ordinary industry along common lines. Two parties of gold-seekers are at this moment hunting for the treasure of the pirate Jean Lafitte, supposed to have been buried in the swampy wilds of Louisiana during his successful career on the Gulf coast. Both of these parties, according to the newspapers, are com- posed of persons ordinarily intelligent and industrious along other lines. One of the parties is working according to an ancient map handed to a friend by a dying moss-picker, who apparently had no time before he was stricken with fatal illness to dig for the hoard himself. The strangest quest of this sort, how- ever, touches wealth dignified by great antiquity. Some European savant is said z to have inspired the belief that the wealth of Croesus may be recovered by industri- ous search, and strangely enough, capital —or at least its representatives—has un- dertaken the job, on the supposition that Croesus buried vast treasures somewhere in Asia Minor. Quite an extended field is here spread out for search, and it is a pity that there is no longer a Delphic Ora- cle or some other means * contemporary with this fabled capitalist to assist the work. Such a task is indeed worthy of any captain of industry. In the meantime, if one-half the per- sons who have dug for treasure in modern times had incidentally used garden seeds and such things on the side, the cost of living would have been greatly reduced in their various neighborhoods. Brief Decisions IF THIS business of ‘‘Wistful Wish- ing’’ and ‘‘Deadly Drifting’? and of “Watchful Waiting’’ continues as a fea- ture of public oratory, every five-foot book shelf in Washington will have to be extended to make room for Professor John Walker’s ‘Dictionary of Allitera- tive Phrases.’’ o “Many horses have died from blind staggers caused by eating moldy baled hay,’’ says the Department of Agricul- ture. ‘‘As soon as the hay is eliminated, the disease ceased.’’ Why not, if the horses had died? Oo A national wave of sympathy and as- sistance is spreading over the country for the gray-headed man. This is right and proper. But why not a thought, occa- sionally, for the bald-headed man? He gets hungry, too. comicbooks.com