Judge — April 25, 1914 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Stories ‘With Smiles Kept in Stock—There is a proprietor of a shop in the city, a man of most excita- ble temperament, who is forever scolding his clerks for their indifference in the matter of possible sales. One day, hearing a clerk say to a cus- tomer, ‘No, we have not had any for a long time,”’ the proprietor, unable to countenance such an admission, began to work himself into the usual rage. Fixing agiassy eye on the clerk, he said to the customer, “We have plenty in reserve, ma'am; plenty downstairs.” Whereupon the customer looked dazed, and then, to the amazement of the pro- prietor, burst into hysterical laughter and quit the shop. “What did she say to you?’’ demanded the proprietor of the clerk. “We haven’t had any rain lately.’’— Philadelphia Ledger. Advice Givers—The late General Louis Wagner, apropos of advice givers, used to tell a George Washington story. “The man who urges you to abandon smoking’’—so he would begin—‘‘the man who urges you to shave yourself and then drop fifteen cents in a box, the man who urges you to save the money you used to give in tips—this man is never, as a rule, avery shining success himself. “One of these men, a high-school in- structor, said angrily to a pupil, “*You ought to be ashamed of your- self! Smoking a pipe! Why, when George Washington was your age he was a sur- veyor!’ “*Yes,’ said the youth; ‘and when he was your age, sir, he was President of the United States.’ ’’'— Washington Star. Deceived—Little Willie was left alone with sister’s beau. “Mr. Chumpley,”’ he presently said, “what is a popinjay?”’ Sister’s beau wrinkled his forehead. “Wh-why, a popinjay is a-a vain bird.”” “Are you a bird, Mr. Chumpley?”” “Certainly not.’’ “That's funny. Ma said you was a popinjay, an’ pa said there was no doubt about your bein’ a jay, an’ sister said there was small hopes of your poppin’, an’ now you say you ain’t a bird at all. That's funny.’’—Cleveland Plain Dealer. Power of Prayer—In that part of Kan- as where they need rain, certain church congregations have united to petition for it. “Didn't [ see your husband going to church to-day?"’ one Kansas woman in- quired of another. “Yes; he went to ask for rain.’ “His faith must be pretty strong."’ “Yes; he wore his raincoat and took his overshoes and his oldest umbrella.” “Tt didn’t rain.’”” “No; but he brought back a much bet- ter umbrella than the one he took away.’’ —Cleveland Plain Dealer. Art Pianos| at Wholesale Yes, at the rock bottom price; any Artist Model you select ab- tol on approval, prepaid, -rock price direct tory to you. Not a WW charge, all prepaid. per wholesale price and pay jertise and quickly introdoes this tramer ell rat $45 Salesmen-Gen’l —= HURRY--BE ALIVE--ACT AT ONCE An ounce of decision is worth « ton of delay. Be alivo—get away from ordinary propositions—get your share of the big One million Washers will bo sold. 2 possbilities are 00 you Cet detals of the money-making opportualy Oflered to you through this absolutely new guaraateed MARVELOUS INVENTION THAT MAKES THE OLD FASHIONED WASH-BOARD Mir the World to mako a better Washing Machi ‘Thlak of ite machioe chat retila for only ¢ TNC Soes ts work of hears, cumbersome outs ta that cout sisead G25, No power nended--custa nothing wo operates last # i (aeetrong and powerfal: yet #0 light {hat echid cen use itand doe whole washing tes. The Als a th-dest ving. health. q ie LUT inten mou, Toe Xo more wash-day Harery for women. Bold on abeolute S antes of money beck If dissatisfied. “Gan you beat it? Y] icine Gel shank aps tl a oo% 2 {hsband Sapse nol heed ty gere Ficulats aboat this wonderfal invention. Be alive--don't delay-—oon. / @ THE AIR CELL WASHER CO., 466 Valentine Bidg., TOLEDO, OHIO = — SS ES ae eres eereeeees Summer Home and Farm . One of the few remaining Hudson HOTEL IMPERIAL Broadway and 32d Street, New York Dancing in the Palm Garden Daily (except Sunday) From 4 to 6.30 P. M. and 10 P. M. to 1, under the supervision of Mr. G. Hep- burn Wilson, M. B., whose assistants are present to dance with guests upon request. In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. River properties now procurable at a moderate price. Only three hours by rail from New York, directly on Hud- son River (east side). 10 minutes’ walk from railroad station. 10 minutes’ walk from boat landing. 45 minutes by train and trolley to Albany (100,000 popula- tion). 15 minutes by train to Hudson (11,000 population). Daily boat service (freight and passenger) to Albany, New York and Hudson. Beautiful 12-room house in perfect condition; heated by furnace; good water. Three barns in good condition, splendid fruit country, over 800 trees, apple, pear and peach, . hree acres and ing a panoramic view 16 miles to the south and 12 miles to the north. Price $5,500 without and 8.000 with farm implements, personal property and live stock. $3,000 may remain in mortgage. J. W. DAVIDSON Lesite-Judge Company 225 Fifth Avenue, ‘New York City comicbooks.com