Judge, 1914-04-18 · page 6 of 24
Judge — April 18, 1914 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This satirical piece critiques American business practices in Latin America. Colonel Beanfugel argues that while the U.S. produces superior goods, American salesmen fail because they lack "personality"—they're blunt and transactional rather than engaging in the social pleasantries Latin Americans expect. The humor lies in Beanfugel's solution: send America's best "jolliers" (charming storytellers from Pullman cars) to South America as traveling salesmen. The satire suggests that American commercial culture prioritizes efficiency over relationship-building, causing business losses to European competitors who understand the importance of personal rapport. The sidebar joke about "that terrible kid" uses similar logic—the child was rude by staring, just as American salesmen are rude by being direct rather than conversational. The piece reflects early-20th-century anxieties about American competitiveness abroad and stereotypes about Latin American business culture requiring flattery and social engagement.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The first white petal from life's opening rose, ‘The laughter of winged things falling from the shies, A Pixey at a puflball powd'ring her nose, Bride of the sunbeams and the butterfives. MoonBowers and poppy dreams and mysteries deco, Myrth ia your hair that » maddening to men, 1 of Greece returning to Troy, the galleons ‘And the red lips of Helen to be kissed again. BRIDES OO Love had a temple in this ruin pile, Hymen was here a day and he had to flee, ‘Yours a second wedding—let the cynics amt To the World, Flesh, Devil, and the deep blue sea. Colonel Beanfugel on South American Trade T’S A SHAME,” said Colonel Bean- fugle, as he laid down his news- paper, ‘‘the way the United States is muffing the ball in the matter of South American trade !"’ “Why, what’s wrong down asked Mrs. Beanfugle. Everything’s wrong, but more espe- cially our failure to understand the Latin- American temperament.”” “Well, aren't American-made goods all right?” “‘There’s never any doubt about that. there?"’ By ARTHUR CHAPMAN They're admitted to be the finest in the world.’” “Aren’t enough?’ “Yes, I guess so. There’s no reason why we can’t meet the competition of any country.’’ “Then what has the Latin-American temperament to do with the case? “Well, you see, it’s like this. The Latin-American likes to be jollied. He likes to have a salesman come in and talk about his prospective customer's wife's they being sold cheaply THAT TERRIBLE KID Mother—Johnay, I'm afraid you're very rude, Why have you been staring at Acat Jane so? Johnny —'Cause 1 heard pa say she always has to have her finger in the pie. relations’ new automobile and his second cousin's handsome new baby before open- ing up on a line of trade talk. Now, we've got the finest set of jolliers in the world along that line in our commercial travelers. But we're keeping all our jollying drummers right here at home. The men we are sending to South Amer- ica are evidently of the quick, plain, bluff-spoken sort. They go into the Latin-American’s office, and, instead of leading off with a prelude of about seven paragraphs of jolly, they ask the pro- spective customer whether he wants to buy shoes or typewriters or sealing wax, or whether he doesn’t. The prospective customer, who is primed for a little sociabil- ity, is mad at this, right away. He says no and goes over and chins with a Ger- man or French trader half a day and gives him an order. He buys a type- writer that isn’t half as good as an American ma- chine, and he knows it—but he has had the satisfaction of being jollied and has heard a few new stories. Now, instead of keeping all our good story-tellers here in our Pullmans at home, we ought to ship them off on those fruit steamers that ply to southern ports. There ought to be a grand, con- VEE SH adg rast comicbooks.com