Judge — April 18, 1914 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

the advantages of a rapid means of com- munication between their headquarters in a Jersey City safe-deposit box and their branch offices on Broadway or Wall Street. Without impeding the current of the Hud- son or diverting that river through Spuy- ten Duyvil Creek, or even watering his stock, he succeeded in building tunnels large enough to carry express and local trains, by means of which the wealth and fashion of New York were enabled to avail themselves of the attractive offer- ings of the Newark department stores, while the elite of New Jersey were at the same time able to do their shopping in New York, thereby earning the gratitude of social leaders on both sides of the river. In course of this sub-riverian and sub- terranean tunneling, he became familiar with the location and workings of all the hidden wires beneath the placid surface of New York and New Jersey politic: which knowledge, together with his smi and ingratiating manner, he placed at the disposal of the Democratic National Com- mittee in the presidential election of 1912, with the result that his party triumphed at the polls, and he himself landed in the Treasury Department. His policy at the head of the fiscal de- partment of the government includes clean money, issued fresh every hour; cash- laundering and disinfectant plants at convenient points all over the country for the removal of the taint from currency already current, and the transformation of the Sub-Treasury Building on Wall Street into a Home for Indigent Brokers. As a true Southerner, his experiments with the mint will probably result ina national julep of some power. Address, Mac, Treasury Department, Wishywashing- ton, D. C. Mr. McAdoo has lately come into a new and senti- mental prominence, owing to his engagement to Miss Eleanor Wilson, the Presi- dent’s youngest daughter, and millions will forget the Cabinet officer in this new and happy relation. For taking things as they come there is nothing to compare with a vacuum cleaner. THE SOLUTION Solver—That’s what I say! Let women vote—and don't count the votes. HIS REAL VOCATION First chauffcur—Jake bits nothing but water ! Secoud chauffeur—Yes. wells instead 0° cars Jake orter be drivin’ artesian Egg View Notes ACCOUNT of the warm weather, Milt Shirks will shear his spaniel dog, to get out of picking burrs for a while. Dow Ludlum, who starts to work at seven every morning, is planning on setting the alarm on his clock for three, so that when it goes off he won’t have to wake up. An old sailor was in the grocery Tuesday morning, smelling of the brine in the pickle barrel. While assisting in overseeing the roof work on Lem Bushnell’s new silo last Monday afternoon, Wit Larcom fell to the ground suddenly, when the ladder on which he was talking collapsed. He threatens to sue the village, as it was the fire ladder. Truman Bilge says that his horse has an awful imagination, as it turns to the left every time it hears &@ CrOW CAW.—Leslie Vim Every, A Paradox Oh, energy may bring success; But hearken unto me: Success is the best thing, I guess, To bring one energy! She Weighed Enough “T hear your wife has aban- doned her idea of a European trip. What happened to make her change her mind?"’ “She overheard some one say to a friend that travel broadened ore immensely.” comicbooks.com