Judge, 1914-03-28 · page 7 of 24
Judge — March 28, 1914 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This satirical story mocks the pretensions of Wall Street stockbrokers masquerading as gentlemen farmers. A young broker accepts fresh milk from a farmer commuting to Jersey, then rushes to the Stock Exchange—revealing he's merely performing rural authenticity for social cachet. The joke centers on the farmer's punchline: Wall Street men are called "bulls" because this broker truly understood the "moo" of a cow—suggesting the brokers are actually bovine themselves, stupid and herd-like in their market behavior. The accompanying cartoon "Too Tame" critiques how automobiles have spoiled proper behavior; once a woman rides in a car, she refuses her carriage. This reflects early 20th-century anxieties about automobiles liberalizing social conventions and female independence. Both pieces satirize how modern urban life corrupts traditional values and authentic character.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
—the central figure in a hila- rious group. What happened while that ferryboat was ply- ing its way to the great me- tropolis was a touch of real human nature. The deed was done, the young man handed the pail of warm milk to the deckhand, saying, ‘‘There’s a brand you can’t buy in New York for eight cents a quart. Have it with your lunch.’’ Slipping into his coat, and with his cane under his arm, he rushed for a taxi and was heard to say, ‘‘Stock Ex- change.” “I see now,’ remarked the farmer, ‘‘why they call those Wall Street men bulls. That fellow certainly did understand the m-o-0-0-0 of a cow.”” Dies Hard An ancient error still persists. j Men everywhere one sees | Who fancy liberty consists ther In taking liberties. canal ith | TOO TAME Poor Human Nature | Maid—It's no use, ma'am. Since you had her out in the autymobile she'll not abide her carriage Crawford—How do you feel med] when somebody tells you that i 1 Ps to do a certain thing isn’t proper? ped The Floatin 8 Dair y . Crabshaw—Feel just like doing it. By DAVID BRAINARD GALLY That fashion writer who said that there e HE floating dairy—rather unusual, rettes became the antidote for commez- is much personality shown in woman’s Yoo | n't it? No, the cow was not fed _ cialized nerves. dress to-day probably had the slit skirt : upon seaweed, nor throughout her ances- He was a dapper young fellow, sm and peek-a-boo waist in mind. sy. tral tree could you find any reference to ing a cigarette in the bullhead (catfish). deep absorption, The ferryboat was plying its way be- as if juggling the tween New York and a place called Jer- stock margins of sey. The foreigners (commuters) were the day in his eagerly devouring their morning papers mind; but he mo- on the way to business, when out of the tioned to a deck- peaceful atmosphere came a heartrending hand and reached lament. A quick glance spread from one for a fire bucket. to another. Where had we heard that Together they sound before? It was not a fog horn, but appeared below, with every swish of the North River amida suppressed swells, so swelled the appeal. Thencame cry of ‘‘Fire!"” the sound of impatient hoofs marking from the females time on the lower deck, and louder, ever of the species. louder, that distressful, long-drawn-out When the lower ™-0-0-0-0-0-0. deck was reached, A red-faced farmer looked at his wife there was our and whispered something inherear. She young broker on turned away sheepishly, murmuring audi- the driveway, bly, ‘Don’t you go for to do it, John, rolling up his You are liable to soil your Sunday-go-to- sleeves as though meetings.'’ for a game of By this time the m-o-0-0-0-0-0-os had golf, cigarette NATURAL QUERY reached a crescendo beyond endurance. _ still between his Woman—Two seats please. Papers were pocketed, pipes and ciga- lips, pail in hand Ticket seller—Yes'um. But how about the boy? comicbooks.com