Judge — March 28, 1914 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Passing the Mustard Signs Folks there are who figure weather By the signs Of the goose bone or the feather Or the vines. If the atmosphere should quiver, They can feel it in their liver, And they’re sure to get a shiver Up their spines. When they see a circle dancing Round the moon, Or a brace of sun dogs prancing Just at noon, Or if Venus or the dipper Has a fit and turns a flipper, Then we're sure to get a ripper Pretty soon. When they feel the wintry breezes Start to blow, They will have a dozen sneezes In a row. And they’ll say, ‘‘There’s nothing to it; I just know I can’t live through it. Tam going to die; I knew it Long ago. Gloom and trouble hold the center Of the play; Optimism doesn’t enter In the fray. Our calamity forecaster, With his almanac as master, Dishes up some new disaster Every day. —S. EB. Kiser, in Chicago Record-Herald. The Prune Club—‘‘Why is a pie like a silver dollar?’’ asked the thin boarder, coming to the table. “‘Because it’s round,’’ ventured the lit- tle stenographer, with a titter. “No, Flossie; you're wrong.’” “Because it goes so fast,’’ suggested the fat man, who was two weeks: behind in his board. “All wrong. Here it is: Because it is composed of four quarters.’’— Yonkers Statesman. Perhaps—‘‘And what do you propose to do now, William?’ asked his father of the son who had just come home after graduation at college. “Oh,’’ yawned the optimistic young man, ‘“‘[ think 1'll go over to New York and look for a position at $5,000 per— you understand? At $5,000 per.”” “Oh, yes,’’ said the old man, ‘I un- derstand. You mean at $5,000 perhaps.’’ —Yonkers Statesman. Roguish—Hicks—What kind of a girl is she? Wiel Oh, her dream of a good time is to sit in the dark, with a muff in Mer lap, between two young men, and let the young men hold each other’s hands inside the muff.—Somerville Journal. Pears’ Pears’s Soap has never offered premiums to induce sales, It is, in itself, a prize for the complexion. Established in 1789. Every Man Who Has a Son who can draw has reason to feel proud of him Personally Conducted Art Course will develop his talent. Send for information. Zim’s Correspondence School of Cartooning, Comic Art, and Caricatare Address Box R, Horseheads, N.Y. FESS SAS SRSA HOTEL IMPERIAL Broadway and 32d Street, New York Dancing in the Palm Garden Daily (except Sunday) From 4 to 6.30 P. M. and 10 P. M. to 1, under the supervision of Mr. G. Hep- burn Wilson, M. B., whose a are present to dance with guests upon request. In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. Dashing Stage Beauties of the World MISS DOTTIE W. During a season run at th Amsterd: “atre, this young woman idlered by many to be the most graceful of the group of dancers. As a Bacchante she is said to have secured many offers from prominent artists, who deem her the most perfect type of the dancing spirit of the grape vine. Courtesy of Kiaw & Erianger Photographs of the world’s 90 most beautiful women. Kach picture printed in colors on heavy enameled paper, size 12x16. Plus 4 beautiful art prints, making a collection of 26 subjects in colors and ready for framing. All enclosed in a rich green Portfolio. This collection procured at enor- mous cost is an achievement only possible to a publishing house in touch with the best photographers of Europe and America. The Edition is limited and will not be reprinted. Orders will be filled as received until the supply is ex- hausted. Price $2.00 Leslie - Judge Co. 225 Fifth Avenue New York comicbooks.com