Judge — March 21, 1914 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Mpa you say, "Here's how" over a Club Cocktail, you attain the ultimate ngood drinking. fecause Club Cocktails are the finest drink in the Sal. They're smooth and mellow, with the rare fagrance of selected old liquors, expertly mixed and ued in wood. Order your particular kind from war dealer today. GF. MEUBLEIN & BROTHER Cannot Possibly Leak Independent Safety Fountain Pen WHITE VALLEY Stand acid and fire diamond test. So hard they easily scratch a file and will cut glass, Brilliancy guaran. teed 23years. Mounted in] 4k solid gold diamond mountings. See tng. Will wend sou,a EARLINGTON 27th Street, West of Broadway’ NEW YORK EUROPEAN PLAN QA Step from Broadway. Absolutely Fireproof. ( Quiet as a Village at Night. Your Comfort Our Aim Always. Parlor, Bedroom and Bath, front of house, ene person, $2.50; two people, $3.50. Why |eif more when our service is equalled only the best? SINGLE ROOMS, $1.00 Ew. WARFIELD, - Manager where I happened to be sitting, by the way. There was a stampede of fright- ened people. The shrieks of women and children filled the air, strong men fainted, and pandemonium reigned supreme.’’ The silent one’s listeners gasped. “But I am proud to say,’’ continued that gentleman, ‘‘that I kept my head, and, in consequence, escaped unhurt.’ “‘What on earth did you do?” some- body asked. “I? Oh, I just kept on running behind the elephant !’’"—London Tit-Bits. The Only Way—Women are the real conservatives, after all. If they can’t do things the way they’ve always done ‘em, they are likely not to do ’em at all. Which wise reflection is prompted by a story from the athletic club. A large crowd of the wives and unmar- ried sisters of the members were taking advantage of the bathing-pool facilities the other afternoon. There were so many of them that they had to dress in relays. It was while the third section was dress- ing that acry went up from one of the dressing-rooms. “‘What’s the matter, dear?’ called one voice. “Why, I don’t believe I'll be able to get dressed in time to go shopping with you,’’ wailed a voice in reply. “What seems to be the trouble?’’ “The floor is so wet in here that Ican’t sit down to put my stockings on!’’— Cleveland Plain Dealer. Exceptions—Foote, the comedian, dined one day at a country inn, and the landlord asked how he liked his fare. “T have dined as well as any man in England,’’ said Foote. “*Except the mayor,’’ lord. “T except nobody,’’ said he. “But you must!’’ screamed the host. “T won't!” “You must!’” At length a petty magistrate took Foote before the mayor, who observed that it had been customary in that town for a great number of years always to ‘‘except the mayor,’’ and accordingly fined him a shilling for not conforming to ancient custom. Upon this decision, Foote paid the shilling, at the same time observing that he thought the landlord the greatest fool in Christendom—except the mayor. —Christian Register. Had Better Kept Mum—One afternoon the bookkeeper employed by a certain concern bulged into the private office and timidly approached the desk of the boss. “Mr. Jinks,’’ said he, after some hesi- tation, ‘‘during the past week I have been doing the clerk’s work as well as my own, and this being pay-day, I thought I would remind you of that fact.’’ “Let me see,’’ responded the boss thoughtfully. ‘‘You make ten dollars a week and the clerk makes five dollars. Is that right?” “Yes, sir,’’ answered the bookkeeper, with a hopeful expression. “Good!"’ smiled the boss. ‘‘Then as I figure it out you made half a week for yourself and half a week for the clerk. I will tell the cashier to fix the amount at seven dollars and fifty cents.’’—Phila- delphia Telegraph. cried the land- Famous Acousticon wko? mat et ie teas sees any Sent which you rewaiate to clearly nore Every ry Sound fer ne money, Gown’; not, even athe Aeposticon ohelngtrament oomast os, soo co easy wsetly — we STS. ook of ce abi et sary Tes 153 Candler Biles Seow tet, New York City Now Direct By Mail Only $3.95 Our new uy. ‘Craft design at a sensa- tional special price for a Tinsited — A big, roomy, m; tremely seracgs and dowel pin invisible construction, On ea Fe !atroduce thie 1d a rocker wo will ail codecs tarned Sh. ar Bins This’ cromoal ofter and eee this chalr on approval One wee book of brat of cee Book Free wwtic'wreicet Gute on Pelnont et Cec Chet ts be Mean and tne ever it” The men ae ae Ne re Sore eee ie io Be EeeTh Ser tak tects soe pommel bee Wee soap, 66, Pledmont Red Cedar Chest HOTEL IMPERIAL Broadway and 32d Street, New York Dancing in the Palm Garden Daily (except Sunday) From 4 to 6.30 P. M. and 10 P. M. to 1, under the supervision of Mr. G. Hep- burn Wilson, M. B., whose assistants are present to dance with guests upon request. In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com