Judge — March 14, 1914 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

How Bilkins Got Rid of His Auto By WILLIAM J. LAMPTON ILKINS bought a car. Not being a mil- lionaire, he bought a used car. How hard or how often ithad been used, he had no means of telling except what the dealer in that commodity told him, and no affidavit went withit. It had originally been in the $1,800 class, and Bilkins got it for $600 cash. He gave an expert $5 to examine the car and tell him if it was worth the money. The expert told him it was. Bilkings has since had his suspicions that the dealer gave the expert more than $5, but he will not say openly how much more. Anyhow, Bilkins bought the car and took it home with him. For about a month—that is 10 say, during the honeymoon period—Bilkins was the hap- piest man alive with his car. Then troubles began to bob up. First one thing and then another, and then a second thing and another, and then a third thing and an- other, and so it went until it became monotonous and Bilkins was automobiliously unhappy. He went to the dealer about it, but the dealer said he could give no guarantee with a car at that price, and if he wanted a guaranteed car he must pay what that kind was worth. But Bilkins already had $600 in the pot, not counting extras, and he couldn’t afford another ante. Then Bilkins tried to sell the car. He advertised it, and possible purchasers came to look it over; but they never took itover. They knew more about used cars CORRECTED Chimmie—Hully gee! Look at the feller walk. in’ on his hands ! Chonnie—He ain't, nuther. He 's standin’ oa his head. than Bilkins did when he bought it. But, say, they didn’t know any more than Bil- kins did when he tried to sell it. He next tried to get up a raffle on it, but the authorities headed him off and lost him his chance that way. He got the editor of the local paper to offer it as a premium for a thousand subscribers, but when people saw the car they wanted to stop their subscriptions. Then he tried a new plan. He stood the car up in front of his house with a placard on it announcing in big letters that the price of this car was $600 to-day, to-morrow it would be $550, and so on each day it would drop $50, and so on till sold. Bil- kins thought this would start something, but itdidn’t. Day after day it kept going down, going down, and when it got to $50 it was stillon his hands, The lower the price dropped, the more suspicious possi- ble purchasers became that it was a put- up job, and they wouldn’t have it. Bil- kins proved this by dropping the price $5 a day after it had reached the $50 mark. No takers at any price. Sessile wt ; = Then Bilkins offered to give it to aman AN EASY MARK he knew who drove a one-horse express wagon, and the man wanted to charge him The wvictim—By the way, while you 're going through my pockets you might see if you can i inted'to char ? Kocate that list aterieads i pir is ae ® , a dollar to move it. Bilkins didn’t know comicbooks.com