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Judge, 1914-03-07 · page 20 of 24

Judge — March 7, 1914 — page 20: what you’re looking at

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Judge — March 7, 1914 — page 20: Judge, 1914-03-07

What you’re looking at

This is primarily an **advertising page** from Judge magazine, not a political cartoon page. The content consists mostly of commercial advertisements for products like Indestructo trunks, Vaseline hair tonic, and New York hotels. The only actual satirical content is a section titled "Stories with Smiles"—humorous anecdotes meant to entertain readers. These include: 1. A joke about a prospector who plans to celebrate striking it rich with a fancy dinner at Delmonico's but ends up ordering ham and eggs (humor based on frontier simplicity versus urban sophistication). 2. A anecdote about a fundraiser and a stingy old man who claims he'll reach heaven before the young collector anyway, so he'll give his dollar directly to God. 3. A story about President McKinley (likely William McKinley, early 1900s) asking Senator Mason to tell jokes to cheer him up during difficult political appointments. These are light, wholesome humor pieces rather than pointed political satire—typical filler content for magazines of this era.

📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

today, you would receive one just like it, free. You would not be forced to buy a new trunk; because you would be protected by the rigid 5 year Indestructo Guarantee. Your trunk is built to stand the severest travel usage, regardless of what happens, or how far you travel. | ‘That protection is the biggest reason why you should own an Indestructo. There are many others; chief among which is the Indestructo Trunk itself. The Indestructo is built with the idea of your com- fort and convenience uppermost in our mind; you will agree to this after you have seen the trank— If you don’t know the Indestructo dealer in your city, write us; will send you our travel book containing naturally colored views of all models from $15 to $150. National Veneer Products Company 103 Beiger Street, Mishawaka, Ind. I’ your Indestructo Trunk should be destroyed Keep Your Hair Healthy Provide the scalp with the stimulation it i feeds to keep the roots of the hair in healthy condibon by using Vaseline Reg. U. S. Pat. OF. Hair Tonic A. watural health - giving tonic for the hair, Prevents falling and dandruf. ‘Stimulates the natural growth. Send 10c for trial size bottle CHESEBROUGH MFG. COMPANY [Consolidated] HOTEL IMPERIAL Broadway and 32d Street, New York Dancing in the Palm Garden Daily (except Sunday) From 4 to 6.30 P. M. and 10 P. M. to 1, under the supervision of Mr. G. Hep- burn Wilson, M. B., whose assistants are present to dance with - guests upon request. ms . a Stoties with Smifes Something Worth Eating—He had heard several old miners who had for many years been living a rough frontier life discussing what they would do when they had ‘‘made their piles’? and could return with riches ‘‘to the States."’ “‘Well,’’ said the grizzled old veteran, “I know what I'll do. I'll go as straight as the cars’ll take me to New York, and when I get there I'll get the best dinner that money can buy. I don’t care if it costs me fifty dollars, I’ll have it.’” “Now, what do you think you would order,’’ queried Fred, with some curios- ity, ‘if you were to go into Delmonico’s for a fifty-dollar dinner?”” “Well, I dunno; but I guess I'd have some ham and eggs—yes, I would; I’d have some ham and eggs!"’—Pittsburgh Chronicle-Telegraph. Preferred Special Delivery—Henry J. Waters, president of the Kansas State Agricultural College, tells of a young man who was collecting funds for a benevolent institution. He attempted to collect a dollar from an old man who was noted for his closeness. The youth ap- proached the older man and stated his mission and asked for a dollar, saying he was collecting for the Lord “Collecting for the Lord?’’ asked the old man. ‘‘Well, young man, how old are you?”’ “IT am_ twenty-five,’ young man. “Well, I am seventy-five years old, and as you are only twenty-five years old, I think that I will get to see the Lord sooner than you. I will hand Him the dollar myself.’’—Kansas City Star. One That McKinley Liked—President McKinley, unlike Lincoln, was not much of a story teller, but he appreciated a good story and would frequently call in Senator Mason to entertain him, espe- cially if he had a touch of the blues. “One day,’’ says Senator Mason, ‘‘he sent for me, and he was feeling more dis- couraged and down in the mouth than I had ever seen him ‘Mason,’ he said, ‘cheer me up. I have had to receive two delegations from Ohio headed by men whom I couldn’t afford to refuse any- thing. They are big enough for Cabinet positions, but I simply haven’t a thing for them, and I had to tell them so '"’ The Senator told the President a story, which became his favorite one. It was the story of the Irishman who gave a dinner. After the bean soup, a chicken, the piece de resistance, was brought on. “And what part of the anatomy will ye have, Mrs. McCarthy?’’ asked the host. Mrs. McCarthy indicated a preference for a drumstick. “‘And you, Mr. O’Callaghan?”’ “Sure, I'll take a leg, too.’” “And what would you like, Mr. Kelly?” “Why, I’ll take a leg, too,’” responded Kelly. aa “Faith!"’ exclaimed the host ‘*What do ye think I’m carving—a centipede?”” “The President,’’ says Senator Mason, answered the The Little Riding School Conductes by Mrs. Victor Grimwood at 124-130 W. 56th St., New York Large Arena, Excellent Horses, Skilled and Eg. cient Instructors, Com. modious Stabling, Com. fortable Dressing Rooms, Rates on Application, ™ 5 9880 Telephone—Columbus 1 5976 Export Department under the personal ‘supervision of Mr. H. M. Puller * Summer Branch, Tuxedo Park, N.Y, Seebeebedebbb i briet Better than Scotch Better thaa Iriah G. & W. Canadian Distilled and Bottled tn Bond by jerham & Worts, Ltd., Toronto, Canada ttet than Bourboa Bewer tha Rye ECE EE Ed eb eh bby: COPY THIS SKETCH | and let me see what you can do with it, You $2.00 to $125. ver * 27th Street, West of Broadway NEW YORK | EUROPEAN PLAN | QA Step from Broadway. | @ Absolutely Fireproof. @ Quiet as a Village at Night. q Your Comfort Our Aim Always. EARLINGTON 1] Parlor, Bedroom and Bath, front of house, one person, $2.50; two people, $3.50. Why y more when our service is equalled only | i the best? || SINGLE ROOMS, $1.00 \| E. W. WARFIELD, - - Manager In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. Rice FELSOTe wie SFei Ceres comicbooks.com