Judge, 1914-02-07 · page 22 of 24
Judge — February 7, 1914 — page 22: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertising and humor content** rather than political satire. The main text features humorous anecdotes typical of Judge's satirical style, including: - A poem about a reckless motorist who drives at dangerous speeds (40+ mph) through town, nearly causing accidents, only to arrive at his girlfriend's apartment and sit talking with her—the joke being his urgent haste was pointless. - Brief joke segments ("Mother's Busy Day," "Not Guilty," "When Muscle Was Needed," etc.) poking fun at various everyday situations—a mother's exhaustion raising 19 children, a Black teamster's malapropism in court, primitive Stone Age logic, and romantic disappointment. The advertisements promote **alcohol** (Club Cocktails, Canadian whiskey) and consumer goods (cedar chests), reflecting the pre-Prohibition era when such ads were standard. There's no identifiable political cartoon on this page. The humor is gentle, domestic satire targeting common social situations and human folly rather than specific political figures or events.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
HEN you say, "Here's how" over a Club Cocktail, you attain the ultimate in good drinking. Because Club Cocktails are the finest drink in the world. They're smooth and mellow, with the rare fragrance of selected old liquors, expertly mixed and aged in w Order your particular kind from your dealer today. G. F. HEUBLEIN & BROTHER New York Hartford London 15 Days “FREE Use cl Fre! catalog showing all begutify!, designs | Redent Gpesta and So ing al yl. designs in. Pie tt NE Piea Piedmont Red Cedar Chest Co. o Dept, States, AC. | SOPEPEPETESEEE TOT EEESEDESS Better thaa Scotch Better tha Irish G. & W. Canadian Distilled and Bottled in Bond by Gooderham & Worts, Ltd., Toronto, Canada Better than Bourbon Better than Rye ‘cana (0 22 Hliwols St, Chicago, I PEEEEE PEEL ELE EE EEE TET E EEE ES DO YOU WANT TO KNOW hadi adhd athe td Be PROF. H. W. TITUS 56-58 Cooper Sq. Dept. 339 New York City Annexed What a Hurry He Was In He jumped into his motor car And opened up the gas; He hadn’t journeyed very far, Before he tried to pass Some one who drove a buzzing six, And though at last he did, He barely missed a pile of bricks When he began to skid. He almost ran a woman down, But faster still they flew; He struck the center of the town While doing ‘‘thirty-two.’’ A horse took fright and ran away When he whizzed by his nose, And everybody stopped to say, “*See how that fellow goes “It must be life and death with him, The way he tears along! Suppose a tire should jump the rim Or something should go wrong !"” But in and out he squirmed and turned, Still putting on the power, And down the crowded street he burned At forty miles an hour. At forty miles an hour he sped; He seemed in dreadful haste, As one, along the road he fled, Who had no time to waste. But witha final whiz and whirl He stopped before a flat, And went to call upon his girl, And there he sat and sat. —Edgar A. Guest, in Detroit Free Press. Mother’s Busy Day— The monologue artist was moving his audience to tears. “Dear old mother!’’ he was saying. “T will never forget how she used to rock all of us children to sleep. There were nineteen of us, and by the time she had us rocked to sleep, the alarm clock rang and she had to get dad’s breakfast.’’ Chicago Inter-Ocean. Not Guilty -The negro teamster had been arrested for using his whip too freely on the public street. “You are charged with cruelty to ani- mals,’’ said the judge. ‘‘How do you plead?” “Why, jedge,’’ answered the prisoner, “I wa'n't crool to no animiles. T beasts dat I wuz lickin’ war mewls."’— Buffalo Express. When Muscle Was Needed--It was a beautiful New Year morning in the Stone Age. “Hey, Strongarm,’’ said Hairyhead, “lend me your crowbar, will you?’’ “Whatty ye want with it?’ asked Strongarm. “T want to take it home,’’ informed Hairyhead, ‘‘to turn over a new leaf.”’— Youngstown Telegram, How Unhappy He Was—Silicus—What’s the matter, old man? You look unhappy. Cynicus—I am. I'malmost as unhappy as a woman with a secret that nobody wants to know.—Philadelphia Record. That’s Different—Father—It's deeds, young man, not words, that count. Son—Did you ever send a cablegram? —Club Fellow. Dashing Stage Beauties of the World Photographs of the world’s moet beautiful women, ch picture printed in colors on heavy enameled paper, size 12x 16. Plus 4 b tiful art prints, making a collection of 24 subjects in colors and ready for framing. All enclosed in a rich green Portfolio. This collection procured at enor mous cost is an achievement only possible to a publishing house in touch with the best photographers of Europe and America. The Edition is limited and will not be reprinted. Orders will be filled as received until the supply is ex- hausted. Price $2.00 Leslie - Judge Co. 225 Fifth Avenue New York Enclosed find $2.00, nd me Portfolio of Stage and 4 Art Prints, a-0t -JUDGE CO. venue, New York In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com