Judge — February 7, 1914 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘ 7] From a Sinners Diary staying with us is ever so Tene cer chen brother. He seems the watch, and if perce ony : t done, say! he’s right there. bean ther 60, and he said, “Oh, well, to his house.’” so doa her day 1 was asking directions of ma. She said, “You go to the cor- ters, then this way (puinting toward the match box on the clock shelf) till you come to the other end of a hedge, then that way (pointing toward a fish line on the bureau) to a wire fence; then turn and go this way (toward the bass viol) till you come to two calves tied in the road, then that way (toward the carpet sweeper) across a bridge and to a pond, then turn this way (toward the plant stand) and go to the foot of ahill. There stands a lug front with a frame running back and trees all around. I got there. Any old town can stretch a rope across to keep people out and draw a crowd. How small the world is growing! Once I went with grandma to the water mill. We traveled for months, it seemed, and crossed hundreds of mountain ranges, where the old wagon stood first on one end, then on the other. And I remember Icould just make out the sand hill across the pond. It seemed farther than to the setting sun now. The other day I went there again. I found it two miles, over a few ordinary hills, and I’ve cast lines for fish farther than across that old pond. Once I had what I guess is a beau. He came one Sunday morning to take a banjo lesson. Night came, and he was here yet. He invited me to go riding. I went, thinking when we came back he'd go home. He pulled candy and peanuts from under the seat, showing the cam- paign was planned with malice afore- thought. He came in when we came back. Pa and ma went to bed, the hands on the clock crawled around—they almost stood still—Roy came home from spark- ing and went to bed, yet the fellow lin- gered longer. He’s gone now, though. I made arrangements to go to him for his lesson afterward, and have raised my price for lessons at home. Blast the idiotic old signs, anyway! You can’t even tip over a chair without some one yelling, ‘‘There! You won't get married this year!’ Who expects to? Saints do things through the week, sinners Sundays and all. Ilike to have my pie. or shortcake and all I'm expected to have a slice of out where I know what to plan on, don’t you? Not have something elegant, with whipped cream, brought out when I'm jam full of something I didn’t like so well. Rooney says it wears out any one’s bat- iz emt as much to listen as it does to talk. to be on —Lynette Freemire. Expected Friend—Where have you been? Lawyer—I've been measuring a client for a suit. . Always Everywhere Apollinaris “THE QUEEN OF TABLE WATERS” HIS isa very subtle mathematical prob- lem, requiring a sus- tained mental effort. If you solve it, and will send us with your answer Two Quarters and a Half, or their equivalent in flat money, you will re- ceive JUDGE for three months. Can You tell What Three Pieces of American Money Make One Dollar The Happy Medium J udge— 225 Fifth Avenue, NewYork . THE ORIGINAL ALL OTHERS ARE IMITATIONS In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com