Judge — January 31, 1914 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WHY WASTE 'EM? Chick—Baw ! are fifty-five cents a dozen ? Adelbert had taken an unaccustomed delicacy at breakfast and felt a bit indis- posed... ‘‘There’s my old friend, Fitzjohn —our old family doctor,’’ he thought. ‘‘I suppose he’s in the same place.” And up Fifth Avenue and east a short dis- tance he found the familiar office. A liveried lad let Adelbert into Dr. Fitz- john’s. The doctor was engaged for a few moments. Would Mr. Fitzjames wait? He would. He did. In about ten minutes Dr. Fitzjohn, getting into a coat as he entered and wiping a perspir- ing brow, rushed up with extended hand. “Why, my boy! Back from Patagonia? A wonderful race, the Patagonians! The mean height of the men was five feet eleven. But I never read that they had doctors.” “They apparently didn’t need them,”’ responded Adelbert. “Ha, ha! You'll have your joke, as always! But you'll excuse my appear- ance? Just been taking my tango lesson, my boy! I’ve an instructor here every day. Great dance! And you meet so many fine women who tango!’’ Dr. Fitz- john’s eyes danced joyously. A touch of his pulse, a tapping of the chest, a glance into his eyes, and in a jiffy Adelbert had his prescription. “Ahem! Do you happen to know, doctor, anything about Miss Miranda Fitzalbert?’’ “Ah, ha! five years ago, chuckled again. married?’ ‘Married? No. But she ought to be. More than worthy of any man. More beautiful than ever. And how she can tango!"’ There was a ring at the door. Fitzalbert was announced. “Can you beat that?"’ The doctor was You were sweet on her eh?’ The doctor Miss Mamma, can’t I have a little brother? Mrs. Hen—Great Scott, child! don't you know that eggs in raptures. ‘‘What a coinci- dence! Of course you want to meet her?” “Charmed .”" Miss Fitzablert came in. She had called for a greeting with the doctor. She was amazed —entranced, she said, that she should find Mr. Fitz- james here. “Come to luncheon with me! We live just down the block. I want to hear all about the wonders of Patagonia!’’ Miss Fitzalbert really was stunning. Adelbert walked on air for half a block. At the Fitzalberts they found luncheon spread. “But come into the conserv- atory a moment, please,’’ said Miss Fitzalbert. ‘‘I wish to show you something rare. We may eat and talk later."” In the conservatory she plucked a great rose. ‘‘This is a new variety. Papa bought it for me. I had the privilege of naming it.’” “And what do you call it?’’ asked Adel- bert. “The Tango.’” They sat down to luncheon. The table maid, going and coming, now and then absent-mindedly described a tango turn or posture with an imaginary partner before the approving eyes of her mistress, while Miss Fitzalbert rattled on about tango teas, tango bridges und even tango lec. tures. From consomme to coffee, every. thing had a tango fillip or suggestion, Even a dainty cake was surmounted by two figures in a tango movement. “And the Patagonians dance, do they not?’’ blithely inquired Adelbert’s charm. ing host. “Yes,’’ he admitted, rubbing his fore- head in a bewildered way. ‘They tango,” The next day Adelbert sailed for Pata. gonia. No Particular Hurry Brown and his wife were at a moving. picture show. In the play on the screen, the villain had just thrown the hero from a high cliff. “‘Oh,’’ exclaimed Mrs. Brown, ‘I hope the officers hurry up and catch the wretch!” “Have patience, dear,’’ said her hus- band. ‘‘The operator is turning the reel as fast as he dares.”” They Always Catch "Em Eugenia—So that Early girl has caught Tom Byrd at last. Eugene—Yes. Just another case of the Early-Byrd combination. COMPENSATORY First stenographer—The boss wants me to marry him. Second stenographer—Well, at least you wouldn't have to look at him daytimes, like you do now. comicbooks.com