Judge, 1914-01-24 · page 19 of 24
Judge — January 24, 1914 — page 19: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* contains no political cartoon. Instead, it features: **Left column:** A humorous diary entry titled "From a Sinner's Diary" by Lynette Freemire, describing everyday absurdities—conflicting veterinary advice about a lame horse, a boy collecting trinkets girls drop down his neck at dances, and complaints about teaching music to poor families. The humor relies on relatability and mild social observation rather than satire. **Right side:** Three advertisements for consumer products: Egyptian Deities cigarettes (featuring an illustration of what appears to be Egyptian-themed imagery), Apollinaris bottled water ("Queen of Table Waters"), and Beeman's Pepsin Chewing Gum ("The Original—All Others Are Imitations"). The page is primarily **advertising-driven** rather than satirical or politically engaged. The diary content offers genteel, domestic humor typical of early-20th-century magazines aimed at middle-class readers.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
From a Sinner’s Diary ARBARA, my horse, has been limping lately. I took it from that he was lame, and had different professionals hold an inquest. They him, pick out a spot they want, clinch in and wring it. Naturally Barbara dances around, just as you or I would. ‘‘There!"? they say. “You see where it is!’’ Some clinch one place, some another. The first said, “Your horse is sweeneyed a little. I can cure it for fifty cent The next said, “He ain't sweeneyed any more than you are. If he is in one shoulder, he is in both. But if he is, ten cents’ worth of wood alcohol would cure him,'’ The next: “You'll find it’s in his foot. Get your horse shod, and he'll be all right. Don’t you go near him with wood alcohol. It'll take the hair off wherever it touches. The other kind is the best, anyway.’’ I bought a new whip, and it brought Bar- bara out of the trance quicker than any- thing. Brother Roy is making a collection of things the girls stick down his neck at , when they go by his chair where playing. Some he pockets on the spot, and some he can’t get till later. He has a cigar box half full. There’s one drab, two pink and three white loz- wo hairpins, a buttonhook, a slate pieces of lamp wick and lace, a curl- ron handle, sen-sen, spruce and pep- sin gum wrappers, half a pink gumdrop, a piece of popcorn cob, some mosquito netting, a green tassel, some fur, a lico- rice cough drop, some tatting, a penknife handle, eleven buttons to match all kinds of apparel, a glass ball from a stickpin, one American and two Cuban flags, two yards of thread, a dandelion leaf, a gera- nium bouquet, two pansies, a crochet hook, twenty-six peanut shucks and a handful of popcorn. All of which, trans- lated, means, if the floor manager should say, ‘‘Ladies, choose pardners,’’ with one accord these girls would exclaim, ‘‘Dance with me, Roy!’’ Nothing is ever stuck down my back. I found a black mitten the other day. Whoever has the other might as well give it to me. Ma says she never had so much pros- perity. She has a new cistern, a new hat and dress and a few dimes to jingle. (She owes me ten dollars.) I'm giving music lessons where the folks are so poor the chairs have no legs nor backs. I don’t know as I blame the woman for wanting something in the house, if it isn’t more than the G scale. At the same time, I hate to leave them around for nothing. When people can’t pay, I always rather they'd take of some one else. If they offer, I'll take it, not wait for a more convenient season. “You must go to bed before you're sleepy and get up before your nap is out, or you'll never amount to anything.””— Grandma. —Lynette Freemire. Every lover of a gond cocktail should insist that Abbott's Ditters be used in making It: insures your getting the very dest CW. Abbott & Co, Baltimore, Md. (abe.) EGYPTIAN DEITIES Plain or Cork Tip Always Everywhere Apollinaris “THE QUEEN OF TABLE WATERS” : THE ORIGINAL ALL OTHERS ARE IMITATIONS In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE, It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com