Judge — December 27, 1913 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘The Egoist—‘‘But how do you know I am a bookkeeper?”’ asked the handsome young man, in wonderment. “It's very simple,"’ said the great de- tective, hiding a yawn behind a Web- ster’s Unabridged. ‘‘As you came in you dropped a book, and I saw on the fly leaf the name of a man who died three years ago, so I knew you had never returned “Marvelous !’’ exclaimed the handsome young man, blushing slightly. ‘But I came to ask you to aid me in my search for a true friend, All my life I have been pining for friendship, looking in vain for a young man whose beauty of face and natural endowments make him worthy of my constant comnanionship. Yesterday for the first time I saw him. It was but a passing glimpse. I was passing Snyder & Snoder’s children’s rat- tle store, and, glancing through the dow, I spied him. Ah, sir, his exquisite features! I rushed into the store, but he was nowhere in sight.’” “‘H'm!"’ said the great detective briefly. “H'm!’ Taking down his concertina from its hook, he thoughtfully played a few distressing chords; then suddenly he , raised the instrument to his mouth to hide a giggle. “I have it!’? he explained. ‘‘That’s no show window outside Snyder & Sno- der’s. That’s a mirror!’’ The handsome young man paid his fee hurriedly and retired, falling down the last few steps.—Detroit Free Press. Regarding Dancing—A stern old preach- er had issued to his people a command against dancing, believing it to be a de- vice of the devil. A few of the young people disobeyed and attended a dance given at a neigh- boring town.. Finally it reached the ears of the preacher, and, meeting one of the culprits on the street one morning, said in a stern voice, “‘Good-morning, child of the devil !’” “Good-morning, father!” smilingly an- swered the pretty miss,— National Monthly. Intelligent Dog—Said Flossie to May: , “Just listen while I talk to Fido. He's so intelligent! “Does doggie want to tum out for a walk?”” ““Bow-wow !'" “‘Of course ’oo does; but ’oo just had a bath and 'oo might tatch cold.”” “*Bow-wow !"" “If ’oo stays home, I'll div ’oo a piece of cake.”” . “Bow-wow!"’ “I knew ‘oo would. cake?”’ “Bow-wow !'" “Sponge cake. All right, ‘oo shall have sponge cake. Did you ever see such an intelligent dog, May? He understands every word I say to him.’’—New York World. What kind of Just Her Husband—A woman mounted the step of a car carrying an umbrella like a reversed saber. The conductor touched her lightly, say- Stories With Smiles ing, ‘‘Excuse me, madam, but you are likely to put out the eye of the man be- hind you."’ “*He’s my husband !”’ she snapped, with the tone of full proprietorship.—Chicago Post. Mr. Henpeck Explains—It was a wizened little man who appeared before the judge and charged his wife with cruel and abu- sive treatment. His better half was a big, square-jawed woman, with a deter- mined eye. “In the first place, where did you meet this woman, who, according to your story, Aa treated you so dreadfully?’’ asked the judge. “‘Well,’’ replied the little man, making a brave attempt to glare defiantly at his wife, ‘‘I never did meet her. She just kind of overtook me.'’—Pittsburgh Chron- icle-Telegraph. Liars—She found her dearest girl chum in tears. The situation was unexpected, being rather common and vulgar. But the pa- trician girl was sympathetic enough to inquire, just as any other girl might, “Why, dear, what on earth is the mat- ter? ‘*Men are all liars !’’ sobbed the broken- hearted one. “Oh, don’t say that!’’ protested the other. ‘‘That’s too broad a generaliza- tion.’” “Well, I suppose there are some good, honest fellows who are not. But all the really nice men are!’’—Cleveland Plain Dealer. Optimism for Children HE SERIOUS influence of some of the sorts of reading matter that children are permitted to see is attracting atten- tion, .At a dinner of the Optimists in Paris recently, Edmond Haracourt, presi dent of that society, advocated a children’s newspaper, which should turn the desire for excitement, change and adventure into good instead of bad channels. M. Haracourt asserted that infant crime was becoming more common not only in Paris, but throughout France. He might have included all countries where freedom in reading is permitted to a majority of children. The police records of New York amaze at times in their showing of crim- inal activities of children. Something of this is due to the classes of amusements permitted to children, something to laxity of home discipline, and something more from the demoralizing and mischievous conceptions of children shown in caricature in the colored supple- ments of many Sunday newspapers. While it is steadily entertaining hun- dreds of thousands of adult readers, JuDGE has special appeals to children and is a weekly delight to them. Jupce’s Motion Pictures—which are always amusing also to grown-ups—form one of these features, as do many other illustraticas, while the alert wit of the average child seizes upon much matter of happy influence that also appeals to the mature mind. In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. Add Distinction to Your Dinner Let it express the dif- ference between * mere money-spending and dis- criminating choice sparkling with life and purity, every bubble bursting with sponta- neous gaiety, full of the delicate fragrance of the grape, delightful of favor —no amount of money can buy a wine to surpass. in quality this American champagne. Costs less than imported cham- pagnes because the cost of the import duty and ocean freight is added to the price of foreign made wines. You pay for quality alone when you ¢ buy Cook’s. Sold Everywhere Served Everywhere AMERICAN Wine Co. 8 8T. LOUIS SONS PAPER WAREHOUSE. Nos. $2, 34 and 36 Bleecker Street Branch Warehouse, 20 Beekman Street, New York ALL KINDS OF PAPER MADE TO ORDER LA FOLLETTE’S WEEKLY ‘Telia you fearteasty, candidly, Interest. Ingty the lnaide of public afalre-tree to Regular year, We will send you La Follette’s 10 WEEKS—10 CENTS If you will eend os the names of five per- ‘sons ntereated in the progressive cause, La Follette’s Weekly, Dept. 3 ‘MADISON, WISCONSIN comicbooks.com