Judge, 1913-12-20 · page 15 of 24
Judge — December 20, 1913 — page 15: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from Judge contains several interconnected satirical pieces mocking American society circa 1880s: **"Christmas Among the Rich"** ridicules wealthy families' hollow materialism—children receive extravagant gifts (a 96-horsepower car, a $50,000 diamond star), yet parents' greatest wish is divorce. The satire suggests wealth breeds moral emptiness. **"Smart Boy"** and other brief jokes mock domestic life: a boy extorts money from his father, a teacher questions whether thrown paper stuck (implying the student is incompetent), and a tourist deliberately engineers a scandal to amuse himself. **"Exhilarating Sport"** sarcastically describes a tourist kissing a servant maid specifically so gossip reaches his wife, creating marital conflict—framed as entertainment. **"His Annual Performance"** references a child burned in a church Christmas fire, presenting dark humor about the unreliability of Santa and wishful thinking. Overall, the page satirizes American materialism, marital dysfunction, dishonesty, and the gap between pretense and reality among the wealthy and middle classes—typical Judge content criticizing social hypocrisy.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Christmas Among the Rich Little Paget got a car, ninety-six h. p. Not a boy in all the street happier than he. Gladys got a diamond star, fifty thousand dollars, To wear to school, the happiest of all the little scholars. Papa and mamma agreed what they'd like to get. Mamma whispered it, and then papa smiled, ‘You bet!’” So when Santa Claus came round in his yearly course, Each of them received with joy a lovely, new divorce. —Ralph Bergengren.” His Didn't Stick “*Robert,”’ asked the teacher, ‘‘did you throw any of those paper wads sticking on the blackboard?”’ “*No,"’ replied Robert. ‘‘Mine didn’t stick.”” SMART BOY Pessimistic Tommy—Say, dad, mother wants to see you before you go out, Emersonian—Do you believe in the law of compensation? an’ I want a quarter, too. Poor man—I do; but L.also am convinced of the law's delays, A Christmas Vision ESIDE the hearth, with half-shut eyes, Within the Yule log’s embers gray, I seemed to see, to my surprise, A vision of a boyhood day. Right down the chimney with his pack Came Santa Claus this Christmastide, And when at last he hurried back My every wish was gratified. . . . . . . It had a real-like effect; But, thinking on the matter since, I rather more than half suspect It was that second piece of mince. —J. J. O'Connell. rae _ fu Exhilarating Sport LZ; i i First tourist abroad—Ha, ha, ha! This Al hale is worth all the time, money and bother ! i I’ve spent over here! a) } Second ditto—How’s that? First tourist —I deliberately kissed the little servant maid with the worst gossip in town looking on. There she is over there telling my wife about it, and the old lady can’t understand a word of the language. The Exception First married man—Is there ever an occasion when everything at your dinner table is stone-cold? Second married man—No, not every- thing. We always manage to have a heated argument. His Annual Performance “Go wan! They ain’t no Santy Claus! I know they ain’t,’’ said Johnny, ‘‘’cause He got burnt up last year, by gee! At our First Baptist Christmas tree.”” The wish-bone has been responsible for " == many dreams that didn’t come true. ADMITTED TO THE “ BAR" IN 1880 comicbooks.com