Judge, 1913-12-20 · page 10 of 24
Judge — December 20, 1913 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page satirizes generational attitudes toward modern popular music (1920s era). Uncle Timrod Tarpy, a conservative figure, argues that contemporary "popular melodies" like the "Argentine Tango" and "The Bamalamaramadam Rag" are harmless—they don't corrupt morality since people only encounter them in appropriate places. He contrasts this with older sentimental songs like "Lorena," which allegedly drove young women to genuine despair and decline. The satire works both ways: mocking both the older generation's nostalgia for "musty relics" and their exaggerated claims about music's moral influence. The brief jokes below (about a janitor, an artist emu, and a divorce case) are typical Judge filler content. The page captures Jazz Age anxieties about modern culture's supposed dangers—a concern the author deflates as overwrought.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
ALICE The Old om IS not necessary to indorse the popular melodies of to-day,’’ re- — marked Uncle Timrod A Tarpy; ‘‘but, on the B07 other hand, there is no occasion for worrying about them. Nobody will ever find me suf- \ ficiently dazed to be- \'), lieve that the ‘Argen- > tine Tango’ is condu- cive to prayer and praise; but I have no- ticed that, if you are where you ought to be for the good of your soul and body, you are not likely to be compelled to listen to it. If I remember correctly, the minister seldom requests the choir to chant ‘The Mississippi Dippy Dip,’ even at the Bap- tist church; and as far back as I can rec- ollect, Ido not recall the time when we buried a deceased lodge brother to the tune of ‘L Hope That Will Hold You for a While!’ Nobody commits bigamy on the high seas or holds up a train while mer- rily warbling ‘Frozen Bill’ or ‘The Bama- lamaramadam Rag’; and it is very seldom indeed that we see a will forged or the mortgage foreclosed on the dear old home- stead to the accompaniment of ‘What's the Matter with Father?’ except, of IN WONDERLAND New and course, iy CM kauces~ at the moving-picture shows. speedily known all over the neighbor- hood as hopelessly eccentric. And even yet, when ‘Dixie’ issung in New York, all the Southerners from Skowhegan, Me., and Tonganoxie, Kan., within hearing, are irresistibly moved to spring to their feet and yell themselves foolish. “The old songs, like a good many other musty relics of bygone days, have long been badly overestimated!" —Tom P. Morgan. Always Becoming We cannot all be rich who dwell Upon this mundane place; But, just the same, a smile fits well On almost any face. In 1925 **What’s the trouble now?"’ demand- ed the janitor. ‘‘More heat?” “No,” id the tenant of the latest skyscraper; ‘‘but I want those clouds brushed away from the window Progress There once was an artist Emu, Who painted the folks in the Zu; But his work never sold, For his method was old, And it had to be done by a Gnu. Added Zest Madge—I never thought you were the kind of girl who would take pleasure in listening to a divorce case. Marjorie—But, my dear, I happened to While such flapdoodle is not especially know the corespondent. helpful, in that it rarely in- spires the hearer to become a reformer with a condescending manner or be a missionary and go romping off to heathen lands, it isno more deleterious than the pale, dyspeptic dit- ties of the dear old long ago. “In my younger days I had the pleasure of being acquaint- ed with more than one maiden who was driven into a decline by ‘Lorena.’ Such sad an- thems bred melancholy, loss of appetite, dots and webs before the sight, both in the singer and the hearer, together with a low, febrile yearning to go out in the gray of the morning and jump off the bluff. Forty years ago, if a young fellow called six consecutive times and sat on the haircloth- covered sofa, as slippery as Greenland’s icy mountains, and didn’t slide off and pro- pose after listening to ‘Robin Adair’ and ‘Douglas, Douglas, Tender and True,’ he w THE BRUTE! Sheba—Ana yet, when you proposed you actually went down on your knees to me. Ben E. Dick--1 admit it. you from sitting on them ! I had to do something to prevent comicbooks.com