Judge, 1913-12-06 · page 19 of 40
Judge — December 6, 1913 — page 19: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a humorous domestic comedy centered on **mistletoe tradition** during Christmas season. The narrative follows Betty and Jack, apparently estranged or formerly engaged ("our quarrel certificate has been revoked"), as they navigate flirtation under the mistletoe while visiting Dr. Goodleigh. The satire targets **romantic fiction conventions**. Betty and Jack engage in coy, indirect courtship—full of misunderstandings and false pride—mimicking Victorian romance novel tropes. The joke culminates when Dr. Goodleigh tearfully removes the mistletoe, lamenting that "the best fiction is no guide to real life." The point: real human relationships are messier and less graceful than sentimental novels suggest. Betty claims to despise Jack while simultaneously positioning herself under mistletoe to be kissed, illustrating the gap between romantic fantasy and actual human behavior. The cartoons depicting the scenes support this romantic comedy narrative visually.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“Betty, you lit- tle minx, what do you do to those cheeks?"’ teased the jolly saint. “You pinched one,”’ laughed Bet- ty, ‘‘and I pinched the other."” “She’s the pret- ‘irl in the world, isn’t she, Jack?”’ ve always said so,’” was his re- tiest spo! “I haven’t until now; but Mrs, Goodleigh is out to-night,’’ chuckled the doctor. In a few minutes, the constraint having apparently dissolved, Dr. Good- leigh excused himself and left the room, “We can be friends, can’t we, Bet- ty?” ventured Jack. “Of course. We are not married now,’’ she answered, wondering if he saw the mistletoe above her head. “Do you ever think of trying again?”’ asked Jack, aware of the mis- tletoe and wishing he knew if Betty expected him to kiss her. “T never hunt trouble,” she stiffly replied. She was sure now that he saw the white-berried spray. “But if it were forced upon you?” Betty sniffed. ‘A man with sufficient initiative to do any forcing would be a refreshing novelty."’ By that Jack understood that she did want to be kissed. ‘For instance,” he drawled, ‘‘I haven't enough initiative to lean over and kiss you, when you are sitting right under the mistletoe ?"’ PEACE ON EARTH Furious, Betty sprang up and, turning her back to him, stood looking into the fire, having taken care to get underneath an- other piece of mistletoe. ‘You are no less stupid and provoking than you used to be!’’ she said bitingly. “Tut, tut, children!"’ reproved Dr. Goodleigh, entering upon this delicate situation. ‘‘Jack, don’t you see that she is under the mistletoe ?"’ “Your prize, sir,’’ murmured Jack politely. The reverend doctor muttered a very unclerical word and put his arm around Betty, who buried her face in the patriarchal beard. “T wouldn't let him k-kiss me,’ she sobbed, “but I hate him for not wanting to!’’ “I do want to, Betty,’ apologized Jack, approaching with outstretched hands. ‘‘I was only teasing you., Come.” “T won" she stormed. “I de- despise you!” “Betty, he admonished, with mock sternness, ‘‘you forget that our quarrel certificate has been revoked, Come here.’”’ Dr. Goodleigh pushed her, laughing through her tears, into Jack’s arms, and she let him kiss her—once. “Now put on your things,”’ directed the young man. ‘‘My car is waiting. I'll drop you at home.’’ “The events of this evening prove conclusively,’’ said Dr. Goodleigh, as he disgustedly tore down a sprig of mistletoe, ‘‘that the best fiction is no guide to real life.’’ comicbooks.com