Judge — November 29, 1913 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Passing the Mustard Valuable Suggestion—‘‘We must do sohething.” said’ the president of the great railroad system, “to increase our revenues. Can you suggest anything?”’ “T don’t know of any way,’’ replied the treasurer, ‘‘unless you and the chairman of the board are willing to go into vaude- ville or report the world’s championship games and turn your salaries in as gross earnings. ""—Chicago Record-Herald. Whefe ‘‘Money’’ Talks—‘‘Pop?’’ “Well, Ignatz?’’ “Does money talk?”’ “So the saying goes, my son."’ “Did you ever hear it?” “Oh, yes, Ignatz; I’ve often heard it jabbering away in the boxes at the opera."’ —Youngstown Telegram. Trouble Assured—‘‘ What are you going to call the new baby?”’ “Reginald Claude, gins, “Isn't ‘Reginald Claude’ a rather af- fected name?’’ “Yes. I want him to grow up to be a fighter, and I fancy that ‘Reginald Claude’ will start something every time he goes to a new school.’’— Washington Star. replied Mr. Blig- Easy To Repair—She—George, dear, here’s a scientist who says the earth is wabbling on its axis. What do you sup- pose they can do about it? George (absently)—Open up the muffler, reverse the lever, shut off the power, lu- bricate the bearings and tighten the wheel cap.—Cleveland Plain Dealer. Out of the Mouths of Babes Little Peter had cut his finger. Run- ning to his mother, he exclaimed, ‘Hurry up and stop my finger, mamma. It’s leaking !"" Fred—Mamma, I know what a maltese kitten is. Mamma—What is it, dear? Fred—It's a kitten you can maul and tease. Small Fred had been worsted in an en- counter with a bumble bee. _ ‘“‘Mamma,"’ he said, ‘I caught a big fly in the yard, and it had a redhot needle in its foot."” _ Horace, aged five, seemed to be in mus- ing mood, and his mother asked him what he was thinking about. “Oh,” he replied, “I was thinking about the time when I was a little kid."” Sunday-school teacher—Can you tell me who made you, Joseph? Joe—God made part of me. Sunday-school teacher—Why, what. do you mean by that? Joe—He made me real little, and I just growed the rest myself.—Chicago News. A teaspoonful of Abbott's Bitters with your Grape Fruit Bikes an ideal appetiaing tonic. Sample of bitters by mail. eta tn stamps. CW. Abbott & Co., Baltimore, Md. (ADY.) "Tees take you across the blue waters of the American Med- iterranean to Florida, Cuba, Porto Rico, Bahamas. Texas, Mexico and other delightful winter resorts. They offer some exceptionally attractive “Circle Tours” with choice of retum routes and stop-over privileges. They can be arranged in the form of short vacations of from five to twenty-three days, with ample time for side trips, if desired. Write us and we will help you plan your trip and send you beautifully illustrated free copy “Travel” Number, AGWI Steamship News. A letter now will mean better accommo- dations for the journey. Address any one of the following: Atlantic, Gulf & West Indies Steamship Lines CLYDE STEAMSHIP CO. THE NEW YORK & PORTO RICO S. S. CO. General Offices, Pier 36, North River, N. Y. General Offices, 11 Broadw MALLORY STEAMSHIP CO. NEW YORK & CUBA MAILS.S. CO., (W: ne) General Offices, Pier 36, North River, N. Y. General Offices, Pier 14, East River, N.Y. DISTRICT PASSENGER OFFICES BOSTON—192 Washington St. (CHICAGO —444 Com'l Nat'l Bank Bldg. PHILADELPHIA —701 Chestnut St. 'WASHINGTON—1306 F St.,N. W. NEW YORK—290 Broadway nied 2 year; art Eighty per cent of all men's ire peastenn eet RY CHARGES: AID OW In answering advertisements please mention JUDCE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com