Judge — November 8, 1913 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

INDIVIDUAL GOLF FOR THOSE WHOSE SPACE IS LIMITED ‘and the public posts, with occasional re- minders to the President himself on what he should do to be saved, his wiry little constitution broke down and he shook from top to toe, like the base of Vesu- vius in some glad eruptive hour. “You have broken down at last, as I have long feared you would,’’ said the doctor. ‘You must go away for a long “But how the dickens can I?’’ said Mr. Higginbotham. ‘‘Affairs here are in such “(Nevertheless you must go,’’ said the doctor firmly. Whereupon Mr. Higginbotham, after having paid a nerve specialist from New York $1,000 for telling him the same thing, went. This morning he was wandering aim- lessly through a beautiful, flower-studded meadow on the lower slopes of Mt. Olym- pus; and here, playing leapfrog with a lot of lads with goats’ legs and hoofs and Jong-pointed ears, he perceived an aged man, wearing a flowing robe and a long, gray beard that trailed on the ground. “Dear me!’’ quoth Mr. Higginbotham. *‘Leapfrog! And, unless my eyes deceive me, an octogenarian at that!’’ “Morning, brother!"’ cried the aged stranger gayly, as he paused in the mid- dle of the line of boys. ‘‘Want to come and join us?”’ “What? Me?” cried Higginbotham, aghast. ‘Not on your snowy whiskers he added, in pure American. ‘‘First place, I’m too old; and in the second place, I have serious matters to think about. The world’’—— . “Oho! Ha, ha!’’ laughed the aged stranger. ‘‘The world! Yes, I know. Well, all right! Sorry for you. But let Rich Uncle Billy dies unex- pectedly IN Woman Suffrage leaders ar rested me tell you just one thing: I once carried the world on my shoulders myself, sir, and I know just what you're up against. It’s a tough job. I bent and sometimes nearly broke under the weight of it. Once in a while I stumbled, and, great Zeus! how I shook things up! Once when I had stubbed my toe, it disturbed the equilibrium of the waters and flooded the whole business, nearly putting the human race out of commission. Another time I tripped, and there were earthquakes and other convul- sions that sent the ice from the north sliding down through the more southerly regions, carrying death and destruction with it. And one fine morning I found my own shoulders worn to the bone with carrying the whizzing old thing, and then I rebelled. I tossed it off into the air and jumped aboard of it myself, and I've been a happy joy-rider ever since. Instead of carrying the world, I have O'Grady administered beastly body punishment and won by knockout Fifty thousand dollars for a hole in the ground THE GALLERY OF SMILES comicbooks.com