Judge — October 25, 1913 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

i Des ideal way to Florida and the Sunny Southis by sea. You are sure to enjoy the swift, bracing trip down the Coast, made doubly attractive by the staunch steamers and luxurious service of the Clyde and CLYDE STEAMSHIP CO. General MALLORY STEAMSHIP CO. PHiLADELPHIA—701 Chestuat St. ‘Write us and we will hel copy “Travel” Number, AG accommodations for the _ The Ideal Way to FLORIDA Mallory Lines. Newest, finest vessels in coastwise service. Staterooms with twin beds and private bath; also without bath but with private toilet en suite. Four sailings weekly from New York direct to Jacksonville without change, calling at Charleston, S. C,, with direct rail connections to all leading southem resorts. Weekly sailings to Key West, Tampa, St. Petersburg and Mobile. Also express service to Galveston, the Atlantic City of the Southwest, with connections to Pacific Coast points. Carle tour tickets at attractive rates, going one way by steamer and one way by rail. Special Winter Cruises and Trips to the Bahamas, Cuba, Mexico and Porto Rico trip and send you beautifully illustrated free IP NEWS. il Address any one of the following : Offices, Pier 36, North River, N. Y. General Offices, Pier 36, North River, N. Y. DISTRICT PASSENGER OFFICES BOSTON—192 Washington St. Wi SPEARS journey. Atlantic, Gulf & West Indies Steamship Lines NEW YORK—290 Broadway letter now will mean better THE NEW YORK & PORTO RICO S. S. CO. General Offices, 11 Broadway, N. Y. NEW YORK & CUBA MAIL S.S. CO. (Ward Line) General Offices, Pier 14, East River, N. Y. CHICAGO—444 Com'l Nat'l Bank Bids. WASHINGTON—1306 F St, N. W. Broadway, 31st to 32nd Street, New York The Pure-Food hotel of the City. This line appears at the top of all our menu cards: “Food Products that are colored or preserved by deleterious drugs or otherwise adulterated are not served in the Hotel Imperial." After-theatre supper in the Palm-Room a winter specialty. A delightful home for the traveller with fastidious tastes. At the gateway of the City, Herald Square, one block from new Penn. Staticn, the radial point of all traffic lines, in the midst of the fash- ionable shopping and theatre district. Send for booklet and schedule of rates. ROBERT STAFFORD, Proprietor. COPELAND TOWNSEND, Manager. Telephone Mad. Sq. 6100, In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. Ss a a Stories ‘with Smifes Smoothness of Tongue—Reference was made to gallantry at a Washington club Some time ago, which recalled to Major- General Wood the soft rejoinder of a pol- ished bachelor. During a social affair one evening at which the bachelor was a guest, so re- lated General Wood, the women wondered why he had never married. Opportunity affording a few minutes later, one of the fair ones proceeded to satisfy her curi- osity. **We were not a little surprised, Mr, Smith,’ she said, deftly leading up to the question, ‘‘to learn that you had never married. Are you a bachelor from choice?”” “Oh, yes,”" came the rather too prompt reply of Mr. Smith. “Indeed!’? returned the fair guest, somewhat disconcerted. ‘‘Isn’t that just a little ungallant?"’ “*You must ask the women, madam,” came the soft answer of the bachelor. “It was their choice, not mine.’’—Boston Advertiser, Down in the Depths—The mermaid was ill, She sat leaning against a rock, un- mindful of the sand that was settling on her beautiful tail. In fact, she was too far yone to care about anything. Later, when Father Neptune came along to inquire how she felt, she cheered up a little. “Oh, Father Neptune,’ she cried, “could you not slip up and ask the peo- ple on the beach if there is a doctor among them?” Neptune, only too glad to be of use, departed and was seen returning witha young man of professional appearance. The young man presented his card; the mermaid smiled, read it and—fainted. He was a chiropodist !—New York Mail. The Price of Speech—A guest was ex- pected for dinner, and Bobby had received five cents as the price of his silence dur- ing the meal. He was as quiet as a mouse until, discovering that his favorite dessert was being served, he could no longer curb his enthusiasm. He drew the coin from his pocket, and, rolling it across the table, exclaimed, “Here's your nickel, mamma. I'd rather talk.'"—Pittsburgh Chronicle-Tele- graph. Mystery Cleared Up—She walked in and banged a hunk of yellow substance on the counter. ‘‘This,’’ she announced sarcas- tically, ‘is the soap that does the washin’ itself. It’s the soap that makes washin’ a pleasure; it’s the soap that’’—— “That ain’t soap, ma’am,’” interrupted the grocer, as he took the substance in hand and examined it. ‘‘Your little girl was here yesterday for half a pound of cheese and half a pound of soap. That’s the cheese."’ “The cheese!’ exclaimed the woman. “Then that accounts for the other thing. Why, I lay awake the whole night won- comicbooks.com