Judge — October 18, 1913 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“It's dumed strange! guess," said John. and its driver entered. Kerry. onto your new route.’” Kerry.”" great good humor. MARVELOUS ELAN OF (WIRTH & MELO “I could relish a hunk of the mince, I “They don’t expose us waiters to obesity much, the way they are feeding us in this joint.’"” Another hansom appeared at the door, It was Stout. “Stew and a tub and pie, John,’’ he said, sittingdown. ‘‘Hilloathere, Kerry! I've not seen you since the holy days.’’ “Don't get excited over it,’’ said “T have seen you, all right, and don’t you think I haven't. We're all “‘Nothing new for a cabby in this burg, “It’s new for you to work with the Broadway squad, instead of letting the avenue be supporting ye."’ “Broadway pays,’’ Stout laughed, in “But any of the | streets'll pay a man when he smiles. You know that queer little way the ladies STUMPED My city nephew said there was a poultry show goin’ 02 here.” have of looking up at you when they’re giving their orders? When- ever they do it, ah-ha! you ought to see your Uncle Jarge sum-m- moile back! There’s no use talk- ing, Kerry, it goes to their hearts. Why, to-day I was trundling along past a Broadway imporium, when I see a lady come through the doors with a three-masted hat on her, and the smile of me makes her hop aboard like a canary, twittering about how I'm to hike for the Ritz. I whipped up there in no time, and you'll not believe it, but my pretty bird bands me three dollars and a half, no less, and hopes it’s right!’" “‘What did you do?” Kerry asked him. “T thanked her very kindly and went back to my route.’’ “Stout,’’ said Kerry, ‘lemme tell you something. I took a lady this morning to a Japanee place—that frill barn cown on Broadway—what is it they call that place?—and I waited outside three mor- tal hours.’” “Hope she paid you big money."” “She paid me nothing. I went off with the wrong skirt by mistake—there’s no telling these cigar-shaped dames apart— and I guess mine must have gone with some other cabby. I was just telling John about it.’” “*Hard luck, hard luck!'’ smiled Stout. “‘Never mind about the luck,’’ Kerry answered. ‘‘Ain’t you going to make good?" “‘Make good? For what?’’ Didn’t I do ing to-day and you get the money ?”" “Oh, no, nothing like that, Kerry!" Stout said firmly. ‘‘I'm too deaf. I can’t hear any of your Santy Claus plans till Christmas. But have some hot mince pie if you're sore at all. I'll pay for it."’ “‘Hurroo!”’ cried the waiter. ‘You lose, Mr. Kerry!’’ Progress When Jones was getting five per week, About his ‘‘grub’’ he used to speak; But when they raised his pay for feats Of modest skill, he called it ‘‘eats."’ And later on, when making good, He changed from ‘‘grub’’ and ‘‘eats’’ to “food's But when he found that he was able To make big pay, he called it ‘‘table.” We now have reached the final scene, For Jones refers to his ‘‘cuisine.’’ Haskins, The chameleon changes his spots more rapidly than the summer girl her freckles, comicbooks.com