Judge — October 18, 1913 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ele- ttle the him the ded e.”” the 2 The ure ee, ter wn ay- ot- Content Oh, worshipers of cities, I have seen The price you pay for all your tinsel toy For walls of gray you give the ways of green, For straitened streets a wiiderress of joys. You give your daughters up to sacrifice, You slay your sons as Abraham of old— Goi! It has seemed to me you pay a price Por all your glitter and for all your gold! And you—you dare to pause to pity me, Who dwell beneath the sovereign sun and stars! You catch but echoes of earth's melody; <I hear the morning play its opening bars. When banners wave, when guns assault the air, When splendor shouts across the conti- nent, When noise and strife are kings, then you are there, And Tamhere, And I am well content. —Douglas Malloch, in The American Lumberman, Out of the Mouths of Babes Aunt Alma—So you took ‘your first dancing lesson tu-day. Was it difficult? Louise—No. All I had to do was keep turning round and wiping my feet. Tommy —Papa, a river is fed by small streams, isn’t it? Papa—-Yes, my son. Tommy—Then I s'pose that is what makes its mouth water. Arthur—Mamma, I hurt my finger. Please tie a rag on it. Mamma (after an examination) — It isn’t injured enough to need tying up, dear. Arthur—Well, tie a rag on it, anyway, so I won't forget which finger it is that hurts.—Chicago News. Limerick There was once a fellow named Glub, Who, in fact, was a heluva dub; But he wore a fresh sneer, Filled his tummy with beer, And landed a swell social club. —Cornell Widow. Flashlights A man brags about being self-made; a woman is always willing to give her dressmaker some of the credit. The man who drinks like a fish in time gets the hook like one, too. Matrimony, to, some women, is merely @ means to an electric auto. A happy man ‘is merely an ordinary man who has forgotten to think about his troubles.—Detroit Free Press. The Way of a Woman—Home study for Tommy had just begun, and he found it hard to apply himself to regular hours. At bedtime one evening his father said, “Tommy, I am not at all pleased with i the report your mother gives me of your conduct to-day. “No, father. ° I knowed you wouldn’t be, and I told her so. But she went right ahead an’ made th’ report. Jest like a woman, ain’t it?"’—Pittsburgh Chronicle. Telegraph. Has His Limitations—‘* Down in Zanes- ville, where I used to live,’’ relates Dr. Washburn Yount, ‘‘there was an old col- ored man who owed a mule. He had more respect for that mule than for any man, white or black, on earth. Uncle Billy claimed that the animal could do any- thing but talk, and that he didn’t talk be- cause he =.uerstood the superior wisdom of ‘seeping still. “Well, one day that mule was lost, strayed or stolen. Uncle Billy nearly had a fit. He searched ‘diligently all day long, and at the end of the day he was about ready to lie down anddie. A friend tried to help him. “**Uncle Billy,’ he said, ‘why don’t you advertise for that mule?’ “«*Whyn't Ah what?’ “**Advertise. Puta piece in the paper, saying that he's lost. That will bring hi~ back if anything will.’ nele Billy laughed for the first time * that day. ‘*White man,’ he said, between chuc- k:es. dat mule er a powahful smaht ani- mue. he suah are; but, Lawd bless you, he can’t read de newspapabs!’ '’—Cleve- land Plain Dealer, All the World's a Stage A canvibal actress, getting old, Was toid by the chief to mate her; He pic’** out a smoke named Theodore, Au?. sad to say, The-ater. —Columbia Jester. zane Careful Waiter—Gent—Is there any ap on the bill-of-fare? ““Waiter—There was, sir, but I wiped it otf.—California Pelican. Preparation—£d—I hear he is prepar- ing for one of those trips to the North or South Pole. Fred—How far has he got? Ed—Oh, he’s written all the press- agent stuff.— Yonkers Statesman. A Cruel Shock—‘‘There is a rumor that the savings bank in town is going to close its doors.’’ “Good heavens! When?"’ “T guess when it gets too cool to keep them open.’’—Baltimore American. Circumstantial —‘‘What does you un- derstan’ by ‘circumstantial evidence’?”’ asked Miss Miami Brown. “As near-as I kin ‘splain it f'um de way it has been ‘splained to me,"” an- swered Mr. Erasmus Pinkley, ‘‘circum- stantial evidence is de feathers dat you leaves lyin’ around after you has done et de chicken.’’— Washington Star. In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. Is eaeraeety erent Mees po ora saves the clothing and Is a ne Iettere on the parse. Write for illustrated CATALOG Danda eather goods novelties. Live-wire AGENTS Make Big Salen Danda Leather Key-Purse ‘With Your Name Stamped In Gold 25c By Mail | Wab Pocket 40c ine. ‘ease for the {strong leather with key ring handsomely emboreed in gold of DANDA JE. MFG. 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