Judge — September 27, 1913 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SEX SARCASM About Women Here are a few jests culled from newspapers and magazines of a quarter of a century ago: It is said that every dog has his day, but the nights certainly belong to the cats. --Chicago News. There is not a high estimation of value placed upon the bride who is given away.—Philadelphia Call. In making love to a Boston girl, accept this pointer—beware of the shoulder blade.—Drake’s Magazine. There are two things a woman will always jump at—a con- clusion and a mouse.—Burlington Free Press. When a girl gets mad, rises from a fellow’s knee, but finally goes back again, that’s a relapse.—New York World. It is said that a woman has more honor thana man. More clothes on’er, it means, probably.—Dansville Breeze. Age cannot wither, nor custom stale, Fair woman’s regard for the festive male. —Old Song. There is nothing a woman enjoys better than to stir up the dust in a room and let it settle again.—Detroit Free Press. The St. Louis lover calls his girl an angel, but the Chicago youth regards his fiancee merely as a feetish. Apologies by— Pittsburgh Chronicle- Telegraph. Mistress—Did you tell the lady I was out? Bivins—Yis, mum. Mistress—Did she seem to doubt it? Bivins—No, mum. She said she knew you wasn’t.—Tezas Siftings. Servant—The mistress says, mum, that she is not at home. Who shall I say called? Caller—Say that a lady called who didn’t bring her name.— Epoch. Miss Travis—Doctor, my head troubles me dreadfully. It swims all the time. Doctor—My dear young lady, you read too many seaside novels. —Burlington Free Press. About Men much that is valuable to say.——Chicago Tribune. A Michigan girl boasts that her lover can jump sixteen feet’ on a level. As this is leap year, the poor cuss was probably trying to get away.—St. Paul Pioneer Press. After the rider at an uptown riding school picked himself up from the tan bark, he remarked, ‘‘1 thought I had improved. I find I have fallen off.’*—Erpoch. “Yes,'? remarked Mrs. Muldoon, as she washed-up the Pull- man car, to the porter, ‘‘your work is complementary to mine. I clean out the cars; you, you devil! you clean out the pas- sengers."’"—Lowell Citizen. He (shortly after marriage) —It is fearful hot in this room! She—I have just been burning up a lot of love letters I got before I was married. Perhaps that’s what makes it so warm. —Tezas Siftings. “I teust your late husband had something saved up fora rainy day,’ said a sympathizing friend. “Indeed he:had!"’ replied the widow, with a fresh burst of tears. ‘He had seven or eight umbrellas. ’— Providence Journal, Wife—John, the new maid told me that you tried to kiss her this morning. \ Husband—What! And I paid her a dollar to say nothing to you about it! Discharge her at once! Such a person is not to be trusted !—Idea. “My dear, ” said the wealthy bride of an impecunious duke, “what is this diamond tiara I see here on Streeter’s bill?” “Ab, ma chere! zat ees ze magnifique present I had ze hon- neur to geef you ze day of our marriage, ze evidence of my loaf."—New York Evening Sun, You are a very large man,’ man, as he took his measure. “Think so, do you?” replied the M. C. “T certainly do.”* “Well, you ought to see me when I’m at home.''— Washing- ton Critic. ’ said a tailor to a new congress- It isn’t that women talk more than men; men do not have so ~ In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE, It will be appreciated. DID YOU EVER MAKE A SPEECH? Do you remember how hard it was to get Started 2? Are you President of a Chamber of Commerce or: any-; other important commercial body ? Are you at the head of a bank, corporation or a business, and accustomed to attending banquets, and sometimes do you ‘ preside ? Are you a professor of a college, teacher of a school, or leader in any particular branch of work ? Are you a politician? Do you ever talk to your constit- uents ? If so, you will know how necessary it is to have the gift of good speaking and a knowledge of current events. ae you a member of any legislative body, or do you expect to be How important is it that you should be well informed on all subjects of political, historic and current interest. The orations of ex-Senator Chatincey M. Depew, the match- less orator of our times, cover a wide area—they are of big na- tional importance, and will give you a real insight into national affairs and politics. Would you like all these orations for your reference library ? No encyclopedia would help you as much. CHAUNCEY M. DEPEW Mr. Depew has closely studied the careers of some of the most dist men of all time, and has set forth their careers in btilliant style in cessochGed anniversary addresses. This list comprises George Washington, Abrahain Lincoln, U.S. Grant, James A. Garfield and many others. aa ‘These books also contain the famous historical and ‘political addresses made, by Senator Depew as well as a number of college-and educational’ addresses Ueliyered by him. Here is Your Opportunity ' These notable adiiresses have been gathered in book form. They are printed in eleht xeon hand, with LESLIE-JUDGE COMPANY. It splendid Octavo Volumes, illustrated with portraits of famous Al etchings. They were privately printed and not on public sale. The hook: the plates and copyrights have been purchased by bound in fall Spanish leather, be offered, as long as they last, at S50 a eet. for private distribution. exhausted, copi "58 remain. Thesy Tite fe the edition That veas'prt book stores and when this edition of Senator Depew's speeches. Second: the same eight volumes neatly bound in cloth, hy tncloding all | the {Hestra- tions. but not autographed, can be had for $16 a set. The ed! Orders for either edition will only be filled if they are received in the books. Reservation can be made by wire. Cash must accompany orders. Cireu ars of full information can be had by writing to LESLIE-JUDGE. COMPANY 225 Fifth Avenue, New York raph of Senator. Depew, under bi it. . It ie not on sale at ies can only be gotten from col- lector at anv price the collector may demand. Jt is the only autographed edition comicbooks.com