Judge — September 20, 1913 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THINGS SELDOM WHAT THEY SEEM Affable club waiter—Looks like rain. Grumpy old lady—It does; but it staells like soup. Inculcating Democracy By TERRELL LOVE HOLLIDAY ‘ WE'VE orga: zed the loveliest club,’”” gurgled Geraldine, removing her hat. “You must have been elected presi- dent,’’ surmized Grandmother shrewdly. “‘A woman generally enthuses over her clubs in proportion to her official posi- tion.’” Geraldine’s expression was a tacit ad- IKE UP-TO-DATE Percie—On my way over, I happened to glance into the barber's and saw Reginald getting his head shampooed Mindart—What were they using, dear, a vacu- um cleaner? mission. ‘The object of the club,’’ she continued hastily, “tis to spread the spirit of de- mocracy. Our roster,’’ she added naively, ‘‘will include only the cream of the social register."” The old lady choked. “I presume you will hire a man to do the spreading,” she re- marked, when she could speak. “The idea! Why?” “*Because,'’ was the calm reply, ‘‘women average about one thimbleful of democracy per thousand head. Shall you invite Millie Burr to join?” ‘“‘My seamstress!’’ cried Geraldine horrified. “Millie would be just as much shocked,’’ chuckled Grandmother, ‘‘at the idea of asking a laundress to join her club. Did you ever willingly permit another woman to copy your hat?”’ “That hateful Tessie Ar- leigh copies everything I get” asserted Granddaughter in- dignantly. what a horrid, low thing democracy is, I'm sure they will have nothing more to do with it.”” “Of course not. Exclusiveness is wo- man’s shibboleth.’” “But what shall we do with our club?’’ cried Geraldine dis- mally. “We've a perfectly good con- ws € stitution, by-laws ©) \ and everything.” oe . “You might turn Cc p45 it into a Daughters-of-the-Something-or- Other,’’ suggested Grandmother, her eyes twinkling. “We could, but,’’ Geraldine shrugged her shoulders disdainfully, ‘‘those Daugh- ter societies are so common. There must be fifty of them.’” The Sign Husband—Ah, my love, I see you've been making cake again. Wife—Why, John, how can you tell that? Husband—From your battered condi- tion. , ib war awe “Such exclusive- ness! And you ademo- crat! I suppose now you will cease snub- bing Mrs. Giltmore?’’ “TIsha’n’t. She's the worst kind of a climber."" “So would you be, if your mother hadn’t done some tall climb- ing. If youare a true democrat, all women are yoursisters. Shall you continue to turn a pale green every time Reginald chats a mo- ment with one of his women friends?”’ “Tshall,’’ admitted Geraldine sulkily. “Some bold thing is always ogling him. **Democracy, Grandmother, conservative form of socialism, a leveler of class distinctions. Do you intend asking your maid to dine with you and Reginald occasion- ally?”” Too scandalized for r words, Geraldine shook her head vigorously. “When I tell the girls SPLITTING EVEN Visstor—Peter, I hear you ‘ve had four wives. an’ what's more, two uv ‘em wuz all right. comicbooks.com