Judge, 1913-09-13 · page 6 of 24
Judge — September 13, 1913 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This Judge magazine page contains multiple unrelated pieces of humor typical of early 20th-century satire. **Top cartoon**: "Successful Coast Defence by the Mosquito Fleet of New Jersey" is political satire about coastal defense, likely referencing contemporary naval anxieties or military preparedness debates. The title ironically juxtaposes "mosquito fleet" (small, seemingly insignificant vessels) with actual warships shown in the illustration. **"Supreme Contempt"**: A golf caddy's quip about paying with fresh eggs—mocking either a wealthy golfer's stinginess or class pretension. **Main story**: Three train travelers play cards; the winner poses a riddle about why a blonde woman was offended when a man returned something she'd dropped. The punchline reveals it was a loose curl of hair—implying she was vain about her appearance or that her pompadour hairstyle was artificial. **Sidebar humor pieces**: Brief jokes about avoiding scandal by staying home, King Solomon's punishment being his many mothers-in-law, a woman arrested for swimming in street clothes, and boys preferring honest suntan to parental discipline. These reflect period concerns: fashion vanity, class distinctions, marital humor, and domestic discipline as comedy.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
SUCCESSFUL COAST DEFENCE BY THE MOSQUITO FLEET OF NEW JERSEY—HYDROPLANE AND AEKOPLANE “Are you out for types, too, Jack,’’ he retorted indifferently, ‘‘or are you sud- denly become clairvoyant?"’ “Oh, ‘never mind the whys and where- fores,’’’ the poet quoted in return. ‘*My cards!"* He shuffled the pack. ‘*Cut!’’ The Western train moved swiftly across the prairie. The three friends played for an hour. The poet won. SUPREME CONTEMPT Superior caddy—Say, mister, it wouldn't cost you much t” play with fresh eggs, would it? “‘Now for the question!’’ he cried jovially. “The question!” The artist threw down his cards. “Well, boys’'—the winner turned and nodded across the aisle, where a blond pompadour rested conspicuously against the linen cover of the chair back— “tand, mind, this is also your question, Willie. So tell us, Crenshaw—why was she mad?"’ “She? Who?" “Don’t be so dense, dear boy! The lady opposite. You handed the tall blonde what she dropped as you passed, and with such a winning bow! Why was she mad?” “Out with it, Crenny! was she mad?"’ Crenshaw grinned. ‘‘Dideither of you fellows see what it was that the young woman dropped?" “Not I!" “NotI “It was—a short, crisp curl of yellow hair that had fallen off when she rose to put her hat in the rack."* Why Compensations HAVEN’T been a-summering at Nar- ragansett Pier, But my jewels lie in safety on my little bureau here. I didn’t go to Newport with the gay Ca- sino set, But my snap-shot picture hasn’t looked the homeliest they could get. Bar Harbor may have missed me from the functions of the gay, But my name has not been coupled with a scandal, anyway. The roadways of the Berkshires have not known my this-year’s car, But I've trollied down to Coney, where the Scenic Beauties are. So, on the whole, considering I’m just the common sort, I haven’t spent much money but I've had a lot of sport. —Frederick Moxon. Guilty ! Wife—There must have been some pun- ishment for King Solomon. Hubby—There was. He had » thousand mothers-in-law. The Limit Jennie—I hear she fell overboard in her street clothes. Minnie—Yes, and she was arrested for being in the water in an indecent costume. The average boy prefers the country tan to the tanning he gets at home. comicbooks.com