Judge, 1913-09-06 · page 21 of 24
Judge — September 6, 1913 — page 21: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* (circa 1914) is primarily an **advertising-heavy publication page** with several brief satirical jokes scattered throughout. The main content includes: **Advertisements:** Multiple ads dominate—tailoring services ("Six Months to Pay"), a "Vibration" health device promising strength and vitality, and other mail-order products typical of early 1900s magazines. **Satirical Jokes** ("Passing the Mustard" section): - A cynical joke about marriage: a man tells his wife that men don't learn about happiness until after marriage—"then it's too late" - A doctor's joke about using fancy language ("perambulate," "copious inhalations of ozone") to persuade patients - A joke mocking an "Anti-Noise Association" founder who plans to promote it using—ironically—speakers and a brass band - A "silenced Wilson man" reference, likely mocking a supporter of President Woodrow Wilson who lost his voice after asking Wilson a favor The page reflects early 20th-century advertising culture and satirizes contemporary social attitudes about marriage, class pretension, and politics.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Take Six Months To Pay for Made-To-Order Clothes 1 name and address for our 13-1914 Fall and Winter Style 't’s absolutely FRE: For THE ASKING and co: tains all the newest fashions and Free Samples for this season’s wear, Our Prices Save You ~~ Many Dollars Many Dollars _ f\ We guarantee you'll save big money, for our prices are A SOLUTELY LOWER th hose asked b lors; and we'll give you lithe credit you y help you dress like the best. Six Months to Pay Our garments are all made-to- — MADE FOR YOU, YOUR- See send ue ben Mons quirements, ject your. COMPARISON PROVES thre super- fority of our woolens and tailoring. j / Made to Order and Made toFit Right Send you: Passing the Mustard The Wrong Hunch—‘‘Yes,’’ he was saying, ‘‘as a matter of fact, a man doesn’t learn what happiness realiy is until he is married.”” “I’m glad you’ve discovered that at last,’’ replied she, with visions of im- mediate proposal, “Yes,”’ he continued; ‘‘and when he’s married it’s too late."’—Brooklyn Citizen, The Power of Language—‘‘I can’t pet that woman to take any eresh air,’’ com- plained the young physician. “You don’t word your advice prop- erly,”’ said the old doctor. ‘‘Tell her to perambulate daily in the park, taking copious inhalaiions of ozone.’’—Washing- ton Herald. from within! St For YOU! tirtsmore han mere mse ques ular strength — the strength of perfect health, abundant nerve force—now wit your own reach through Vibra! tien | Nine people out of Uyery tea are only hall alrel Are you All the Benefits sof : Life, Strength, Youth may be returned to you rough Vibration. For Vibre- eg is ite : rx hee hase qway the like magic. nerve, Ee, fibre in your le body will we inate ‘with the force of yourown "awakened fagnation simply cannot exist, You are made Srernew from head tofoot. fon et eet eek along through every vein, artery and tin: the poisonous matters in your system are washed Your self-confi- a Fu norris whatever. You 288 PEER ETE Wea too, to FAT YOU PERYECTLY soa 7 eatlaty yoa oF you got your mon Sent On ‘Approval No matter where you live. we trust you, Your simple promise topay us in als moathe je eudictes m ple chargo account EIEIIE Dla ts one of tho most modera con: GET OUR “BOOK te. f bu of TO. voor We ROSEAT WTOP IN Fosire your name and sdarem. WAITE TO. eon ae we STANLEY-ROGERS COMPANY 534596 Bo. Clark Street Chicago, Iilinois ‘The World's Foremost Credit Tailors for Men Inconsistent Noise Fighter—‘‘I’m goirg to start an Anti-Noise Association,’’ said the man. “How will you go about it?” “Well, the first thing is to get the public interest. I have already engaged half a dozen speakers and a brass band.’’ —Washington Star. Silenced—‘‘ What became of that orig- inal Wilson man in your neighborhood? We don’t hear anything of him any more.” “No; he’s very still nowadays. He asked a favor of President Wilson and hasn’t dared to speak since."’—Detroit Free Press. Two Sorts of Operations—‘‘I see they have operated on a Philadelphia boy’s head, in order to make a better boy of him.” fold, Special Offer f 2PTinited Time Fora short time only we gremarkable | Kote yeeciaf introductory 3 fer on the White Cross FREE BOOK Ktoustoday., Getour FREE book a ot Vibration: Dry Varieties “That isn’t where my dad used to i | operate on me to make a better boy of Martini eB (ne on) | me.’"—Houston Post, Martini—Brut iry) Mashattan—-Regular Cross se, Good Business—Mrs. Rich—Why do you ee to ogeito eh hee pay your maid such awfully high wages? ‘@ postal Mrs. Roxe—Oh, it pays in the long run. She never breaks those expensive vases any more, for fear we will take it out at the end of the month.—Boston Transcript. Some Retort—‘‘You are getting very bald, sir,’’ said the barber. “You, yourself,’ retorted the customer, “tare not free from a number of defects that I could mention if I cared to become personal. ’’—Louisville Courier-Journal. ~ WRITING SONGS We have paid thousands of Goh lare to ematear song writers, Experience not necessary, Write for tree particulars or ernd us your song Torms or miclodl y for free examination. Aceent- ance guaranteed if 4 ne Bilge Boomer Writ Deautttully iMust rate maiuabis advice all frees DECDALL Coe ID Dugdale Hldge Washington, D.C. DICK, OLD BOY: JUST “PUT ONE OVER” —the engagement ring, I mean. Loftis Bros, & Co., the Diamond-on-Credit House, did the trick by giving me credit, Dept. D-874, Chicago, Ill. Send for catalog. (Ade) Discouraging—‘‘Success will come to any one who perseveres.”’ “I don’t know about that. I’ve been married for ten years now, and my has- band hasn’t liked anything I’ve had for dinner yet.""—Louisville Courier-Journal. Experience—"‘So you claim the world is round,’ sneered the skeptic. ‘‘How do you know that it is not square?’’ “Because I have had too many dealings with it,’’ grimly replied Columbus.— Florida Times-Union, In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. ar fast-eclling pocket lowing return of unschi goods. Makes quick, easy sales, $4.00 commission on ezch arder. SOMETHING ENTIRELY NEW. Write for outfi: today. BURD MFG. CO,, 212 Sigel Street, Chicago, Ill. comicbooks.com