Judge, 1913-08-30 · page 4 of 24
Judge — August 30, 1913 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains satirical commentary on tobacco use, a major social debate of the early 20th century. **"Tobacco" (left column):** A lengthy editorial argues that tobacco's critics exaggerate its harms while ignoring its cultural contributions to art, music, and poetry. The piece sarcastically notes tobacco "manufactures and markets itself" through devoted users, and dismisses critics as hypocritical—particularly those profiting from tobacco (like Cuba) while condemning it. **"Brief Decisions" and "The Real Requirement" (right side):** These short satirical quips mock anti-tobacco advocates and social pretension. One suggests objecting to a neighbor's piano is valid if you dislike their dog—implying inconsistent moral positions. Another mocks candidates winning office through mediocrity rather than ability. The cartoons use humor to defend tobacco against growing prohibitionist sentiment while simultaneously critiquing broader social hypocrisy and political incompetence.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE CRUSADER against tobacco and the lover of tobacco differ essentially in all things related to the weed, as they do in most other things, ia all its forms and va- a tieties is vile. To the user it is only some tobacco that is vile. Given the right sort of a pipe and any one of several brands of smoking tobacco or a good cigar, and history, invention, art, music and poetry come at the call of the favored man, who incidentally makes some of these things while he smokes. Tobacco has enemies among those who manufacture and market it. That is to say, the man who tries to satisfy any considerable number of the public by handing out two or three cigars for a nickel is an enemy to his race and dis- loyal to tobacco itself. On the other hand, to a vast number of men—among them many who can’t afford the luxury implied—a good cigar is like a benediction. The smoker whose profile projects one of ‘three for a half,’’ while he has the other two safe in his pocket for later use, has at the moment no other conception of felicity. And there are men who can extract happiness from “two for a quarter,”’ a pipe well filled or even a cigarette, Tobacco seems to be the one thing the ancients lacked to give life its ultimate zest. Excavation and research may yet show that they had it or some substitute for it, though there is nothing extant to suggest they knew anything of the weed. Had they enjoyed tobacco, the classics of literature and art that have been handed down might have had details of interest not now dreamed of. . The modern prophet —especially the modern weather prophet —seems most veritable and impressive with a pipe in his mouth, even if it isa cob. A new interest would attach to such pictures of ancient scholars, literati and patriarchs as have been vouchsafed to the modern world, if an occasional pipe or cigar could legitimately figure in them; and if the remainsof antiquity couldshow gravures orrelics of tobacco and its uten- sils, the peoples that have passed would indeed draw nearer to the peoples of to- day, who set such store by the weed and its paraphernalia. €L) = The Real Requirement ABILITY, Mediocrity and Inferiority were once candidates for the same public office. Ability conducted a digni- fied campaign, won the confidence of the people, but made a poor showing at the polls; for be it known that Ability was modest and unassuming. Mediocrity con- ducted a blatant campaign and all but won the office; for, be it known, Medi- ocrity was a braggart. Inferiority con- ducted a popular campaign, got the votes and was elected; for, be it known, Infe- riority was an adept mixer. Brief Decisions OME persons still look upon tobacco as ‘‘an Indian weed which from the devil doth proceed"’; but who yet has seen a picture of Satan that established his intimacy with its fume and perfume? Poets have sung /> and poets continue to sing in praise of My Lady Nicotine, and, barring some early experiences of youth with her, she is a favorite with millions the world over. Some of those who rail against tobaceo forget that, aside from the fact that mil- lions find joy in it, Uncle Sam derivesa large revenue from it, Cuba and other islands of the seas enjoy industry from it, and great business enterprises are erected upon it, even though most of it goes up in smoke. Your violent foe of tobacco and tobacco users is usually a person of definite no- tions. He wouldn't do a thing to a smoker but hang, draw and quarter him, if he could, or banish him from the haunts of men. When you object to your neighbor's niano, remember that he may have a grievance about your dog. The minds of some women may be read by a fortune-teller after a little judicious questioning. Love is responsible for many a cur tailed vacation. The woman who looks her years has lost ambition. Age is not an infallible sign of ma- comicbooks.com