Judge — August 23, 1913 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Pleasantest and Quick- ae well, entertains the bunch this year, was His Neutrality two days late in getting to Detroit. AM SO moss. “ L S3-g Tow! i est Way to Midsummer Have abandoned my motor boat and oD | age to arcive : a a it Ima. : ” - taken to walking,’’ came word. where there is anything doing, las Comfort and Happiness At which some one started a story that variably far back on the test rannee Is Found in a Bottle of found its way into public print. George unteered the Erratic Thinker, wig had started in his boat on the Mlinois one reason why I find mysel? spent River without considering the day, which out of harmony with the prevelee tt! was Monday. Owing to it being wash- and ery againat the present daring gee day, his boat was soon stranded, high and of women’s garments. I have Kao dry. The reporter to whom this story seemingly good authority that peel was told swallowed it whole, and the the height of an orgy of feralaise ax public benefited. dressing that seta nice people to piel be And, oh, yes! The week preceding the | and lifting their hands in prayer to ont gathering of the mirthmakers, a conven- thunderbolts of wrath from on high. ai tion of undertakers was held at the hu- is stated that petticoats have been 1" morists’ quarters. For the first three placed by tights, stockings are of x days of our session (7?) (!) (*) the under- vapory silk as to greatly embarsins"as takers’ sign still hung there on the bat- pare, and the gowns themselves are tlements, half-transparent material and so ca Let us not forget Tom Daly, the Irish- slashed that limbs are revealed toxin Including berth and meals. American champion of Dago dialect. At eral degree. P rates for September and ; October. Via the one dinner he leaned across a table and “T regret to say that I know little of RED CROSS LINE| ‘emarked to Strick Gillilan, “*I just over- this from personal observation, for the fa heard you eating soup." reason that I live in a small town sall through Loug taland Geend oo ne a arte Gillilan, shocked and annoyed, retorted, there is never much of interest mae Halifax, Nova Scotia, axa St, John’s, Newfoundland} = ‘‘Eavesdropper!"” and also because I do not go hunting fer Splendid Fishing and Hunting—Hay-fever Unknown J. U. Higginbotham, who tours the shocks with a telescope. On account ef New specia'ly built tourist steamships ‘Stephano and| | World and then writes books on what the my ignorance of the subject, I do not fe pt oar dern de ! 3 world ought to be, was ‘‘held up’’ by justified in joining in the denunciatices greheetra. Sea sports. SE ashore, Ni awit to ccateton ‘Litnites Banta. of feminine fashions: (end kenisg be 4 2 a - cause ave learnes rom long experi. BOWRING & CO., 17 Battery Place, New York! Guest, J. U. H. grabbed his trusty foun- ence that ladies are prone to hee tain pen (he had one he could write with) they blame please, regardless of the bovis HOTEL VAN RENSSELAER and wrote: ‘J. U. H., also A. Guest.”” of old-fashioned hypocrites against it.” These were by no means all the unctu- 15 to 19 EAST ELEVENTH STREET ous quips spontaneously combusted. Au They All Have Faults NEW YORK CITY contraire. They give merely a hint of Chaucer was clever what a convention of the press humorists And rhymed rather well, is, Every five minutes there was some- But, somehow, he never One, Bock from Bresdway thing said worth jotting down, And even Could learn how to spell. the serious-minded persons not of the A Use for the Bore elect caught the germ, though uncon- . . ‘ Room with private bath $1.50 sciously, as was shown when Ted Robin- Miss Fetching—Oh, Mr. Tiresome, I'n all alone out here on the porch! Do ass pan pene ig Im ple of rhyming. come out and sit with me! Aman sitting at a table near by looked Mr. Tiresome (flattered and smiling) JAMES E. KNOTT, Manager at him in amazement and then said toa Why, it’s very complimentary to me for companion, you to want me with you, I’m sure! F . “That is one of the most remarkable Thank you very much, Miss Fetching! fare to amatear song writers, ing I ever heard.”” feel this—ah—yearning for my society, Sour rons yor © Kecent: This year the humor will be different. 80 to speak? Miss F. (opening her eyes in frack It has been hinted that a visit will be : ; made to a big clock factory, and promise surprise)—Wh-why, the mosquitoes sre awfully thick to-day, and they never bite © is given that the timepieces that have ‘ ; , Which may appear about you, your] not laid off their hands will immediately me if there is anybody else to bite nesr friends, or any subject on wich you may want to be “up ike. ' by. Do come out! to date" Every newsoaper and periodical af importance = on oe: But you can’t tell. As i in th jnited States and Europe is searched. Terma, mer Croy says, ¢ 1 $5.00 for Hoo netices. Henny Howeike, 106-110 Seventh Swen catch hte: tennp-wortaige byt" He's Wise Avenue, Y 4 y Ve Py : ene mee ee y hé Every seat in an outgoing street car Scuey GINSENRETE A ONE And as Gillilan has said, ‘We'll stand ad boon then Ac then met comee ans PAPER WAREHOUSE| ide and watch ourselves walk past. eral well-dressed ladies were let on, AS Nos. 22, 34 and 96 Bleecker Street Getting at the Truth the conductor passed through taking fares, he noticed a gentleman on an end seat who had fallen asleep. son recited a lengthy and intricate sam- Branch V ase, 20 Beekman Street, New York ALL. KINDS OF PAPER MADE TO ORDER Pretty girl (to critic)—Is Blank's play - : t the Utopia praiseworthy? i$ ds i Be An Artist. Make Money Drawing] “Critic (tonewspaper owner)—Is Blank’s Wake up, here!*" he shouted to him. comic pictures. Let the world’s famous car- play at the Utopia praiseworthy? “No sleeping on this cai toonist, Eugene Zimmerman, spill a few Newspaper owner (to his advertising “I’m not asleep, sir,’’ said the man. ideas into your head. Get the Zim Book— department)—Is Blank’s play at the Uto- “If you wasn't asleep, what did you it’s chuck full of valuable suggestions. Price pia praiseworthy? have your eyes closed, then, for?” $1.00, postpaid. Bound in 3-4 Mor. Satis- Hi ae Gi faction guaranteed. Money back if book — Well,” said the gentleman, “ya returned within 10 days. Address: Sileed Oranera with a dash of ADs r know, I just hate to see ladies standing ZIM BOOK, Room No. 1149, Brunswick Bldg., New York | fieia inviampa ©. W. abbott & Ca, Baltimore, Ma. (AB. up.”” In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com