Judge — August 9, 1913 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Who’s Whosiers Everywhere By HORACE DODD GASTIT HAW, GEORGE BERNARD—Some- S ies cerrupted to Bonehead. Best known to his contemporaries as George the First of Ireland. A literary enfant terrible of considerable wit and dauntless activity, and universally recognized as a apreme master of modern unrealism. Was not the leading figure in George Meredith's brilliant novel, ‘‘The Egoist.’” Was never born, but developed slowly in the latcer part of the nineteenth century, ander the same zodiacal conjunctions that prodaced a Hall Caine in the Isleof Man, aEagene V. Debs in the United States, anda Bwana Tumbo in Africa, His first words, projected through space from no- where in particular, were, ‘‘Let there be light!"" and immediately, in accordance with his subtle intention, a great dark- ness fell upon the land. Took up writing at the age of five, when he was found ty his nurse writing on the cellar wall sith a whitewash brush the imperishable lines, ‘It is only the isn’t that is, and the well lies at the bottom of truth!’” Owing to a delicate condition of his digestive organs, was fed in his early years exclusively upon carpet tacks and pins, which diet has resulted in giving considerable point, though little in the my of head, to everything that he has written since. Founded the Shavian School of Philosophy—a cult much af- fected by brilliant barbers everywhere, wto conceal their lack of thought in exuberant and epigrammatic utterances while shaving their victims, whence the title Shavian. Is much admiréd by the very young and unmarried middle-aged members of women’s clubs everywhere, who derive much spiritual satisfaction of an inarticulate sort from the uncertain intimations and elusive significances of diphanous effervescence to be found in bisevery line. In spite of internal evi- dences pointing strongly to the contrary, is really a human being, and not, as thou- tands have believed, merely a monosyl- abic ejaculation of scorn, although the words ‘Oh, pshaw!"’ have undoubtedly taken on a newer and more effective sig- aifeance since his incarnation of their in- test. Is author of a collection of plays alled “Plays Pleasant and Unpleasant,"’ tone of which is the former and few of vhich are plays, being rather dialogues interrupted by extensive and witty in- stractions and clearly indicated stage business for the guidance of those who tre to speak the dialogue after the rising of the curtain, Has been said by critics to bear the fame relation to literature that the tango and turkey trot bear to the art of dancing, und has enjoyed very much the same Widespread popularity, even to the point of attracting the attention of the New York police, who have been known to HE highest grade smoking tobacco made—8O Cents a pound. But packed in a handy 5 Cent tin just HALF the ordinary size. Exactly enough to keep FRESH and PER- FECT until you have smoked it ALL. ~The most delightful FRAGRANCE, the FINEST SMOKE, the HANDIEST “TIN in the whole history of tobacco. ‘Sold only in Handy S Cent tins and 90 Cent pound glass humidor jars, In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. interfere with one of his plays, ‘‘Mrs. that what cannot be obtained by brick Warren's Profession,”’ while themselves bats cannot possibly be got through calm profiting largely from the financial by- reason. Wears clothes in public, not so products of that same profession. Gained much as a concession to convention, but considerable notoriety as the hero of Gil- rather to keep the real Bernard Shaw bert K. Chesterton’s absorbing romance, veiled in the mystery which is his chief “George Bernard Shaw,’’ in which full charm. Served for several years as a justice was done to his puritanic nature dramatic critic, but, unfortunately, too and progressive instincts. Has never late to be of advantage to Shakespeare, visited America, and, therefore, writes who, had he had the benefit of his advice, about it with convincing authority, unre- might have achieved fame as a dramatist strained by the deceptive shackles of per- instead of mere notoriety. Like most sonal observation, thereby adding greatly Irishmen, is very fond of the English— to the gayety of a nation already rejoic- asa topic for conversation and a theme ing in such humorists as Hi Johnson, of for his written disquisitions on Things California, and Governor Cole Blease, of As They Hadn't Ought To Be. Recrea- South Carolina. In politics is a Pank- tion, re-creating. Address, G. B. S., hurstian Progressive, firmly believing care of Himself, the Universe. comicbooks.com