Judge — August 2, 1913 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HIS country spends $600,000,000 an- nually for music, according to a statistician, and but $8,- 000,000 of that sum goes for opera—a statement which most persons who succeed in getting good seats fora grand - opera pe rformance would be inclined offhand to question. And another surprise is furnished in the fact that this grand total of music ex- penditure is thrice as large as the sum spent for the navy and the army of the United States. Even the expenditures most remotely related to music must be included in this $600,000,000. It must take in the flutes, cornets and other instruments of torture fretted severally by millions of amateurs in the vicinity of a greater number of millions of persons who at times envy the deaf, as well as the numberless mouth organs, concertinas and other noise producers of more or less ingenious device with which farmers’ sons amuse themselves, while they frighten the birds into unseasonable migration. Of course the vast sum named would also inelcde fees paid to professors who for selfish ends theoretically announce coming prod- igies of both sexes in astonishing num- IMITATION and who cause otherwise peaceable citizens to become disorderly in word, 1 and thought. But there must be at least one excep- tion. ‘The sum cannot include ten thou- sand times ten thousand hand organs, whose plaintive sounds announce their age and decrepitude and preclude them from an annual computation or compila- tion of any sort unrelated to junk. Yet there is a peculiar impressiveness in the figures which mean $600,000,000, and even. th statistical barrenness causes one to cease to wonder et some things that in the name of music vex even the musical. Brief Decisions Sea serpents? Of course there are sea serpents! If not, the mermaids would have said so. The fisherman still fishes and still ex- aggerates, But some day he may take to the camera. With this the fisherman can snap the big one that gets away with pole, hook, line and sinker. Some of the recent statements at Wash- ington on oath must have given ‘*the law of evidence’ a wrench. a After all, fools add to the gayety of nations, a n blighted affeciion gives way to the toothache. It ig all right to blow your own horn, if you occasionally change the tune. Evolution ? WHEN novel things fail to happen and news is scarce, the newspaper that desires to keepupa fair! == oo mmm ye as average of in- terest starts a symposium + on some sub- Ml /)) ject of human & gE _—<~ concern, 4 In the course j Pm of time, many § a symposium onthe subject » a» as ms am a om on om of baldness— i. e., a more or less vacant space on the head of man where hair ought to grow —has enlightened the multitude and filled the bald with ambition to try experiments looking to a rethatehing. Such a sympo- sium recently sroused hope in the bald who will not accept the inevitable. Happily, many men are not ashamed of their baldness. Some women may be bald, but there is no public evidence of it. It is one secret that a woman can keep, for fashion is bound to help her keep it. In the symposium mentioned, one con- tributor hailed baldness as a blessing and as a sign of superiority. The bald man, he assumed, is a token of evolution and a being in advance of the man with much hair, as he is in advance of animals that are completely covered with hair. Why not? Acareful study of bald menas they happen in every-day contacts should prove this, and if any further evidence is wanted it can be found prominently seated in any theater where bald beauty in the other sex is on display IS THE SINCEREST FLATTERY comicbooks.com Wl meg