Judge, 1913-08-02 · page 21 of 24
Judge — August 2, 1913 — page 21: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This Judge magazine page contains multiple distinct elements: **Main Advertisement: "Symbols of Protection"** A Bell Telephone Company ad equates the telephone system with historical protective structures. It compares ancient Egyptian winged-disk talismans and Medieval castle walls to modern telephone technology as a form of "protection"—arguing that Bell's nationwide telephone network creates national cohesion and safeguards "our national ideals and political rights." This appears to be corporate propaganda framing telephony as essential to American security and unity. **Satirical Poems & Jokes** The surrounding content mocks stock-market investing ("Passing the Mustard," "Rocky Road to Wealth"), depicting ordinary investors losing money in failed ventures. "Electrical Epicure" is absurdist humor imagining eating electrified foods. These pieces satirize get-rich-quick schemes and financial speculation. **Recruitment Advertisement** Lower section advertises agent positions for unspecified products or schemes—typical of era advertising that often promised easy money. The page juxtaposes corporate messaging with satirical commentary on American capitalism and financial delusion.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
in one pocket, her bag in another, me jn another, gloves in yet another; Ay a most Benign expression took up its abode in her face. ‘uart satisfied?”” asked the reporter. wpam,” replied Susan ‘*Is not my most consuming: desire gratified ?”” The reporter admitted that it seemed tpbe and sank back in luxurious eas pack in Gasoline Row there was est satisfaction, too, and a number of Gheeks changed hands, all because of leep- pabl andy wea “The Woman's Delight. d-fe}. ° wi | Passing the Mustard bee : ai The Rocky Road to Wealth Not every stock pays dividends, Hea, | Not every dollar brings returns, re | \ctevery deal in profit ends, | for Not every venture money earns. hisk | The road to ten per cent. is rough, Beset with jelts and jars and shocks, Iboaght some shares of gilt-edged stuff, ‘And now the firm is on the rocks. It’s not all beer and skittles in The world of high finance, alas! Sometimes the ice is very thin O'er which we heavyweights must pass, And oft disasters have occurred— ‘Aye, oftener than manv think! Iboaght some guaranteed preferred, And now the firm is on the blink Though stock certificates are swell ‘And handsome things to gaze upon, And, nicely framed, look very well, They do not always prosper one. Not every stock certificate Brings in its twelve per cent. or more. Ibought some stuff that once looked great, And now the sheriff guards the door. —Detroit Free Pr Never Too Old To Learn—‘‘So you went to the big outing?"’ “Yes,"" replied Mr. Growcher; ‘‘and I want to say that there is nothing like a pienie to make a man realize what a nice, cool place his office is."’— Washington Sar, Disguised—‘‘ Blessings often come dis- gaised,"’ quoted the Wise Guy. “Yes; and, when they do, the disguise isso perfect we don't recognize them,” added the Simple Mug. — Philadelphia Record. Electrical Epicure Take away the insulation; Let me place my dinner pail Isto close approximation With the nourishing third rail. a the traffic crowds the traction, Threatening a concussion dire, Bring an airship into action, Let me tap a trolley wire. How my hungry hopes awaken, As the flashing sparks I view! Give me two amperes of bacon And a volt of oyster stew. Bread, potatoes, beans and sweet cakes— Let them come in generous lots. Pull the lever for some wheat cakes; Say, a dozen kilowatt: Ee all - st that Abbott's In'making it ine getting the ver + CW. Abbott & Co., Baltimore, wa « % Symbols of Protection Ancient Egyptians carved over their doorways and upon their temple walls the symbol of super- natural protection; a winged disk. It typified the light and power of the sun, brought down from on high by the wings of a bird. Medizval Europe, in a more practi- cal manner, sought protection behind the solid masonry of castle walls. In America we have approached the ideal of the Egyptians. Franklin drew electricity from the clouds and Bell harnessed it to the telephone. Today the telephone is a means of protection more potent than the sun disk fetish and more practical than castle walls. The Bell System has carried the telephone wires everywhere through- AMERICAN TELEPHON - One ' DROP DEAD ONE: GRAB THIS NEW I 5 Ss | x. | In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. 8 THE 20th CENTURY WONDER |Get started in an honest, clean, reliable, money-back guara ft. lized by this new inven’ CUCM MASSAGE MACHINE hin reac] out the land, so that all the people are bound together for the safety and freedom of each. This telephone protection, with electric speed, reaches the most isolated homes. Such ease of.com- munication makes usa homogeneous people and thus fosters and protects our national ideals and_ political rights. E AND TELEGRAPH COMPANY AND ASSOCIATED COMPANIES Universal Service AGENTS! money-making business. Sold on/ Wit intee th System 'S. AWAKE } INVENTION rea Sdoren. o ever eaw f » Territory with protect nt earticl tage: foretgn, comicbooks.com