Judge, 1913-07-12 · page 12 of 24
Judge — July 12, 1913 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple brief satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century American humor magazines: **Main cartoon** ("Horatio's Reply Not Recorded"): A domestic scene where a wife shows her husband his new study, asking if he's pleased. The joke's point is unstated—likely mocking either the wife's presumption or the husband's trapped domestic situation. **"A Function"**: Satirizes a new doctor's unconventional "grand opening" reception where, instead of distributing customary souvenirs, he gives attendees pills—a joke about aggressive medical marketing or dubious medical practices. **"No Chance for Him"**: Office humor about a stenographer's billing department visit; the "cooing" boss reference suggests workplace flirtation or romance. **Other pieces** are brief comic verses and one-liners about dating, beach visits, and marriage—standard light humor of the era with no specific political references. The overall tone reflects Judge's focus on genteel, domestic American life rather than hard satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
served as a conclusive exhibit in any controversy as to the lack of logic in the theory that kissing 13 not hygi- enic. Nature had started to make her nose retrousse and been called to some less pleasing task, with the re- sult that it could not have been improved if Nature had returned to the job. On her arms she wore bracelets that emphasized their round perfection. The chap looked at her one day, spoke to her the next day, and was teaching her to swim the third day. She went into the surf as though she had forgotten the origi- nal plan of her costume, her bracelets jingling, and her eyes wide with a wonder that the sea did not wholly in- spire. Something always happens toeverybody. Other pret- ty girls followed her to the shore, but the chap never looked at them; and if they did not know how to swim, that was their misfortune, When he had taught her to swim, they went off to- gether in some haste, and the matrons and the spinsters alongshore declared they had gone to get married. Vv. A. Waldron. A Function ae] TELL ye, the new doctor that’s just moved to Tor- pidville is an upty-date feller!’’ declared honest Farmer Hornbeak, upon his return from the near-by vil- lage. ‘You know, whenever a new establishment starts up, it is customary for ’em to hold sort of a grand open- in’ and distribute soovyneers. Well, this doctor, he held a reception in his new office this afternoon, ‘and = ; ; gave everybody that attended a dose o’ pills."” MEL AND MES; WEERS AND. A FORTNIGHT Couldn't Come Up No Chance for Him Isabel—Why didn't Nokash come down to the church euchre New clerk (finding only office boy in the private office)—Is party last night? this where that pretty stenographer does the billing? Isidor—He was unable to come up with the price of a ticket. Office boy—Yep. An’ de boss de cooing. Skiddoo! Lamentation «aT JOWN to the beach I cannot go!” The maiden said, and heaved a sigh. “No, Ican’t go this year, and so I'll swelter here, no doubt, and die!"” My heart went out to her. I said, **What puts despair into your speech? Perhaps your hopes are not all dead. Why can’t you go down to the beach?” ‘*Because,’’ the maiden sobbed, ‘‘I hear A fellow I had on the string Last season's coming back this year, And he'd make me dig up his ring!”” —Howard C. Kegley. Where It Began Adam—Honestly, now, my dear, I never loved another woman! Educated Madge—You say you have a friend who objects to the hobble skirt. Is she modest? Marjorie—No; fat. Seaside Musings “These waves,”” she mused, ‘‘that beat and roar— How like to life here on the shore HORATIO'S REPLY NOT RECORDED “*Yes, quite alike,’’ he sadly spoke; ** Horatio, dear, aren't you glad I fitted this room up as your study ?"" **Coming full swing, departing—broke.’" ” comicbooks.com