Judge, 1913-07-12 · page 10 of 24
Judge — July 12, 1913 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple humor pieces satirizing early 20th-century social dynamics and gender relations. **"Cubistically Speaking"** mocks the then-fashionable Cubist art movement by describing romance entirely in geometric terms—a parody of how pretentious artistic language obscures simple subjects. **"Interested"** and **"Wrong Kind"** present marital complaints as jokes: a husband wants to know how a burglar entered undetected (implying his wife is a light sleeper he resents), and another regrets that married life isn't the romantic "song" promised. **"The Way It Goes"** contrasts two young men: Bobby, naturally attractive and modest, unwittingly attracts female attention; Freddy, vain and attention-seeking, receives none—mocking male vanity and suggesting that genuine appeal lies in indifference rather than self-promotion. Scattered throughout are one-liners about women's materialism (wife packing her own items, not husband's) and domestic frustration. The overall tone reflects period attitudes toward gender, marriage, and social pretension.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Bang! bang! Cobistically Speaking HE CLASPED her slender cubiform In his rectangular embrace; He gazed on her rhomboidal charm With passionate, prismatic face. He stroked her rectilinear locks; Then, with a sound like prying strips From off a trapezoidal box, He kissed her squarely on the lig —Frederick Me Interested Husband (at police station)—They say you have caught the fellow who robbed our house night before last. Sergeant—Yes. Do you want to see him? Husband—Sure! I'd like to talk to him. I want to know how he got in without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for the last twenty years. Wrong Kind Mrs. Benham— You said that, after ‘we were married, life would be one grand, sweet song. Benham — But 1 didn’t refer to chin He let go both barrels, but the bird was just out of range A Feminine Perquisite Crawford—So you're going away to the country? Have you your trunk packed yet? Crabshaw—No; my wife saved me the trouble. She filled it with al? her own things. Felicitations “Come on; take a ride!"’ the motorist cried, Tohis best girl, Nancy Lee. Ten miles from town the old thing broke down— “Come on; take a walk! quoth she.—r. J. he Homemade Little Catharine had heard a great deal said about home- made things. One day, when her mother asked her how she would like a little brother or sister, she replied, ‘It would be all right if it Was home- made.” Hope’s paper is good only when indorsed by Ability and Labor. The Way It Goes WHEN Bobby went swinging along up the street, He was good to behold, from his hat to his feet; And many a maiden he happened to meet Half turned to look after the youth going by, And the bolder ones strove for a glance from his eye. But he kept to his way, looking natty and trim, Unconscious that any were looking at him. When Freddy went tripping along through the crowd, He looked well enough, though his garments were loud; But he fancied his smile would make any girl proud, So he ogled the girls as he strvtted along, And was certain there wasn’t a girl in the throng Who wasn’t dead crazy about him in sooth, Though very few troubled to glance at the youth. —Walter G. Doty. And He Did Waiter—Here is your soft-boiled egg, sir. Is there anything else I can do for you? Patron—Yes; beat it. There is a reason even for the kick of a mule. RAILROAD TERM—LONG AND SHORT HAUL comicbooks.com