Judge, 1913-07-05 · page 8 of 24
Judge — July 5, 1913 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several brief satirical pieces typical of Judge magazine's humor: **"The Coming Maude"** tells of a county judge who abandons his fiancée, Maude Muller, to marry a wealthy woman. The joke's punch: Maude is a suffragette and county board chairwoman who retaliates by organizing women voters to recall him in the next election. The moral warns against "monkeying with a suffragette"—reflecting early-20th-century anxieties about women's political power following suffrage movements. **"Not Thinking of Wilhelm"** satirizes a Brooklyn schoolboy who, when asked "What is the Kaiser?" answers it's a geyser (hot water spring). This conflates Kaiser Wilhelm II of Germany with Yellowstone's geysers, suggesting American children's geographical confusion during a period of German-American tension. **"Showing His Joy"** presents a Filipino in Jolo (Philippines) celebrating Uncle Sam's polo victory, but the final line—"he whetted the edge of his bolo" (machete)—darkly suggests underlying violence despite surface cheerfulness, likely referencing colonial tensions. The other brief jokes address domestic manners and peace prospects.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
~. PLEASED Freddy Littleboy — Madam, 1 hope you will pardon me for so rudely colliding with you. 1 did not see you. Miss Fattenfurty—Flatterer! The Coming Maude Ry TOM AW. JACKSON Mauve MULLER, one day, eating fudge, Looked up and saw the county judge. Maude was a pretty girl, all right; His honor fell in love at sight. And, when about a month had fled, Maude promised that the judge she'd wed. Then o'er the judge’s pathway came A wealthy, proud and stately dame. The judge, then, for ambition’s sake, Poor little Maude resolved to shake. An ardent suffragette was Maude, Chairwoman of the county board. “T'll get square,’’ Maude said, ‘‘ without fail." So told her party her sad tale. Judge had elected been in fall; In spring they voted his recall. The haughty dame refused to wed. “You are no longer judge,’’ she said. This lesson sad he learned, you **Don't monkey with a suffragette The man who earns every penny of a dollar knows what a dollar means. An Exaggerated Report Lindstrom—I hear that Billums turned all his property into bonds, disinherited his son, who married a chambermaid, and left everything to a college. Janiver—Oh, he wasn’t so mean as that! Under the terms of the will, the college will have to employ the son, at a salary of seven dollars a week, to cut off its coupons. Showing His Joy dark Filipino, in Jolo, m glad Uncle Sam won at polo; For my love's deep, you see, For the folks 'cross the sea."" Then he whetted the edge of his bolo. “‘What is your wife doing?”” “Well, she’s either dressing or undress- ing for the ball, I can’t tell which."’ Not Thinking of Wilhelm HERE may have been a time when there would have been those to con- tend that the Brooklyn schoolboy in ques- tion did not return an entirely incorrect answer to a certain question put to him. As 3, however, it must be confessed that the boy got his history and physical geography somewhat mixed. “What is the Kaiser?’’ teacher. “The Kaiser,’’ said the boy, ‘‘is a stream of hot water that spouts up and disturbs the earth.”” asked the Naturally “IT should like to get an engagement with my circus of trained fleas,’’ re- marked the vaudevillian, “*You’ll have to try it on the dog first,’’ replied the booking agent. PROMISING Polydore—t see Carnegie thinks the prospects very bright for universal peace. Coriolanus—Well, if the countries that are already fighting can be persuaded to stop, and those that are preparing for war can be induced to change their minds, the outlook will be very promising. comicbooks.com