Judge — June 28, 1913 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Passing the Mustard The Boy Grad Full many years have poets sung The sweet girl graduate, And now again, with honeyed tongue, Her graces they relate. But as for me, while I agree She is a winsome lass, I fain would sing in poetree The he-goat of the class. The boy grad has a double voice That slides from D to A. His theme is deep, his language choice, His statements none gainsay. He has exaggerated feet And seven pairs of hands; He's nervous sitting in his seat, And more so when he stands. His hair’s a sturdy pompadour; His brow is damp with sweat; His eyes are fastened to the floor As if with glue—and yet We doff our bonnet to the grad; He’s awkward, but he’s game, And (take it from us) he's the lad That gets there just the same. —Peoria Transcript. Wasted Effort—With a small bellows Uncle Jim was trying to clean out the dust which had collected around the bulb of an electric lamp on his library table. Elmer, his young nephew, watched the proceedings with much interest. Finally the boy exclaimed, “It’s no use, Uncle Jim. You can blow and blow and blow until your arms are tired and you are black in the face, bat you'll never be able to get that light out until you turn the switch. ’’— Youngs- town Telegram. Measured — Jinks —How high is the height of enthusiasm? Winks—Well, if it were turned around and stood on end in the depth of despond- eney, it would just fill it.—Newburgh News. Still in Danger—‘‘Is the patient out of danger yet?”’ “Well, not altogether. The trained nurse is still with him.’’—St. Louis Re- public, The Hint—Aged uncle—I’ve insured my life for five thousand dollars in your favor. What else can I do for you? Nephew—Nothing on earth, uncle.— ton Transcript. Good Idea—Manlee—My wife talks for ten hours at a time. _Wislee—-Why don't you insist on the eight-hour law ?—Chicago News. Wrong Again—Teacher—What was it that Nero played when Rome was burning? Tommy—The hose, I guess.— Yonkers tesman, Read every word in this opinion. Remember it is not our statement, but the deliberate opinion of a great scientist working for perfection in beer. Pure beer is food and tonic. G. Beck (Bierbrauer, 1881, No. 8) finds that “beer in light bottles deteriorates more quickly than beer in dark bottles when exposed to the direct sunlight.” His tests were continued for three weeks and proved that beer in light bottles had acquired a very disagreeable, nasty taste and flavor and was unfit for consumption. The Brown Bottle with Schlitz is not a fad. is based on scientific principles. Its use We have adopted every idea, every invention, every innovation that could make for purity. Schlitz is sent to you in Brown Bottles to protect its purity from the brewery to your glass. Why don’t you make Schlitz in Brown Bottles your regular beer? See that crown or cork is branded ‘‘ Schlitz"? @ Siow Fr ir i fai rig Y hae y) Ww ay” The Beer That Made Milwaukee Famous. HOTEL ST. DENIS Broadway and 11th Street, N. Y. City Home Comforts Without Extravagance The only first-class hotel near all steamship lines This famous hotel has been renovated, redecorated, Within easy access of every point of interest. | Halt refurnished, and many modern, up to date appoint- block from Wanamaker's. | Five minutes’ walk 0 Shopping District. NOTED FOR—Excellence of ments have been installed, and can be compared fav- cuisine, comfortable appointments, courteous service orably with any in the city. and bomelike surroundings. Iiions inthe “erat $1.00 Per Day Up 7 Minutes from Grand Central Depot. 10 Minutes to leading stores and theatres se eT ST. DENIS HOTEL CO. In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com