Judge — June 28, 1913 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

"WATCHIN Fortune Telling AN IOWA man is complaining to the court because he went to a clair- voyant to have his fortune told, and she charged him $10 and told him nothing that he did not know. Personally we think the Iowa man got off easy enough. One time we went to a clairvoyant to have her lift the curtain of the future for us, and, after doing this, she lifted our watch and was yearning for our tie pin, when we gently but firmly pushed her hand away. It hurt the poor girl through and through, and involuntary tears sprang into her large, innocent eyes as she dropped her hand in the direction of our pocketbook. She said that when she went into a trance she did not know what happened on this earth, and some- times her hand strayed away unknown to her, and that it grieved her deeply if she woke up five minutes later and found a strange watch or purse in her hand, but for us to have no fear and to trust her like a sister. Then she tried unsuccessfully to go into a trance, and at last she said she couldn't go into the spirit world unless she had something material to hold in her hand, and asked us to put our pocketbook “AND ASKED US TO PUT OUR POCKETBOOK IN HER PALM” in her palm while she went behind the curtain of the future and looked around to find what belonged to us. She dark- ened the windows and we placed the purse in the desired place. Then she went be- hind the curtains and found that two great-uncles were soon going to pass to the great beyond and leave all their worldly goods to us. We asked her to describe these two charming relatives, as at the moment we did not recall having any great-uncles at all. She said that one of them had side whiskers and the other a kindly face, and for us not to sign any papers on Friday. We swung the conversation around to ‘s) WORLD GO BY<_ e By HOMER CRoxY— © the great-uncles again and asked if she couldn't crowd up a bit closer and get a better view of them, as we were strangely interested; but the two uncles seemed to have passed out of her mind. With her bosom rising and falling with emotion, she begged us to beware of-a tall, dark man, and, above all, not to walk under a ladder. We told her that for her sske we would look askance at any tall, dark man who approached us in any capa- city whatever, and that we would have nothing to do with any ladder, no dif- ference what its standing was. Then she arose, to signify that the interview was at anend. Knowing the humiliation that a sensitive person like her must feel when we called heratten- tion to the fact that she still had our material in her hand, we thought we would lead up to it by mentioning remu- neration and feel of the pocket which our purse had once called home. But she said that she had taken a fancy to us and for us to go on our way and think no more about it. We called her attention to the fact that she had taken something besides a fancy, and that we couldn’t keep our minds off the subject. Her great, expressive eyes filled with tears as she asked if we doubted her. Then she pushed us out onto the street, asking us not to forget her after our two great-uncles passed to the spirit world and affluence and worldly wealth were ours. We told her that she would often be in our minds and said adieu, After we were out of the lady’s hearing, we said other things. We don't know whether the two gentlemen she alluded to have gone to their reward or not, but, if they have, they have been singularly negligent in living up to what their ac- quaintances were expecting of them. We know how disappointed the fortune teller must be and how her great, expressive eyes must fill with tears every time she recalls their disappointing conduct. The Iowa man should be thankful that it cost him only $10 to hear from his lost relatives. The “‘fishwalk’’ is the latest dance rage in Washington. We haven't seen it, but we trust there is nothing in it to carp about. = An Ambitious Emperor MPEROR WILLIAM of Germany is demanding of his people a yacht costing two and one-half million dollars. We do not think he should have such an expensive craft, for, when he comes over to this country and the editor of this page entertains him, he will have to get along with a boat costing far less. The “WE WILL TRY TO MAKE UP BY BRIGHT CONVERSATION” difference between his yacht and ours will be apparent to him at once. It makes no difference how preoccupied he may be, he will at once discern that the two boats are not identical. The difference will be in favor of his craft. We will try to make up for the lack of some late inven- tions on yachts not yet installed on ours by bright and charming conversation. If he is the right kind of a man, he will not care if our vessel hasn’t all the improve- ments to be found on his. In entertaining a friend, it is the spirit that counts. Random Notions THE directors of the high school at Dover, N. J., want somebody to teach the girls how to box. We don’t know what the position pays, but our application goes forward to-morrow. Springfield, Mo., has a bachelor who had to join the police force to keep the girls from kissing -him. We have been in Springfield, Mo., and we have met the Springfield girls, and for the life of us we can’t understand why this unkissed bachelor took that step. Come to think of it, that would be a nice place to take our vacation. We don’t know whether we are a rela- tive of the Duke of Croy or not. We think it’s his place to say so first. If he is really a relative, he is the only duke that we are related to that we know of. We haven't looked into the baron line yet. comicbooks.com