Judge, 1913-05-31 · page 12 of 24
Judge — May 31, 1913 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple short humorous pieces typical of early 20th-century satirical journalism: **"A Serious Matter"** mocks workplace hierarchy—a messenger threatens to resign after being called down twice, suggesting he'll "make things unpleasant" if provoked further. **"Strength Going To Waste"** is a domestic joke: a wife claims she could "wind" her husband around her finger, so Herbert suggests she'd make a good circus strong woman. **"The First Monopolist"** applies modern monopoly concerns to Noah's Ark—humorously suggesting Noah monopolized animal transportation. The remaining pieces satirize contemporary social concerns: time-wasting meetings, legal delays, artistic pretension (Cubism), courtship customs, and misunderstanding of corporate titles. The large **sound-wave visualization** appears experimental—imagining how sound travels visually if made visible from above. Overall, the page reflects Judge's formula: brief, topical humor targeting everyday life, modern anxieties (monopolies, corporate culture), and artistic trends (Cubism).
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A SERIOUS MATTER Boss—What are you handing in your resigna- tion for? Messenger—Well, boss, you called me down twice dis week, so I thought I 'd better git out be- fore I’m tempted to make things unpleasant for de firm. Strength Going To Waste ««FATHER,” said little Herbert, ‘‘why doesn’t mother travel with the circus?’’ “What could she do in a circus?’” “She might be the strong woman. I heard her tellin’ grandma, this morning, that she could wind you around her little finger.”” ; Time-saving Dorcas—Won't your meeting be very late if all the members are going to take part in the debate? Mrs. Dorcas—Why, no, dear! all speak at once. The First Monopolist Old Noah ran a pleasure boat, And it was safe and sound; And soon it did monopolize The beasts for miles around. We'll AVIATOR'S-EYE VIEW OF A BOULEVARD IF SOUND WAVES WERE VISIBLE iat ill A CURE PROMISED Lazwyer—The judge says you'll get your hear- ing to-morrow. Pat—Phwat? The saints be praised! An’ me deaf fer fifteen year! A Cubist Sunset HE SUN, Sank in The clouds, great triangles of blue, Welled up in majesty. narrow purple line, The wavelets danced quite playfully, In spots of bright cerise. The shore, a group of trapezoids, In rank on rank serere, Stood out in vari-colored shades Of red, blue, white and green. And, as I stood upon the shore, I saw this, I avow; But I won’t see it any more— I'm on the wagon now.—Xent Miller. To Expand the Currency He had just given her a check for her first monthly allowance. “T think,” she said coyly, ‘‘I shall have this check photographed.’’ “To preserve asa memento?” he asked. “No; so I can have it enlarged.’’ The Aftermath “Daughter and her beau must have had a terrible quarrel!’” “‘Why 80, ma?”’ “Five pounds of candy, a bunch of roses and two matinee tickets have just arrived.’’ The, Make-up Pieces “Did you ever help put a puzzle to- gether?” “No; my wife always assembles her- self alone.” No, Clarence, a vice-president is not the executive officer of a disorderly soci- ety. He is a highly respected old gent. comicbooks.com