Judge, 1913-05-24 · page 8 of 24
Judge — May 24, 1913 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple short humor pieces typical of early 20th-century American satirical magazines: **Main cartoons**: The top left shows a burglar casing a shop while a woman powders her nose—the joke being that her vanity conveniently keeps her distracted. The bottom right depicts a snobbish collector (Col. Lector) showing off a snuff-box; a young woman (Ingenue) deflates his pretension by noting the dent came from the owner dropping it. **Short jokes and anecdotes** fill the page, mostly playing on domestic situations and wordplay. "She Had Them" jokes about marital disputes. "Stumped" misinterprets "handmaiden" as a modern manicurist—anachronistic humor. "A Round Dozen" lists puns on the word "round." **Longer narrative**: "She's at Least in Sight" presents a sewing customer (Mrs. Porter) guilting a seamstress (Mrs. Bunner) into serving coffee to an elderly father-in-law—only to reveal it's actually the woman's profane parrot, subverting the sentiment. The humor relies on class commentary, gender stereotypes, and wordplay typical of the era's satirical magazines.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Nature's Benign Way os AH,” remarked Professor Lickcipher, in a voice admirably adapted for uttering didacticisms, “how well Nature has equipped her offsprings for occu- pancy of the spheres in which she has placed them!’’ “*Yape!’’ agreed the Old Codger. ‘‘For instance, be- hold the hornet! His terminal facilities are not exten- sive, but they are in every way ample for his purpose.” A Bad Joke “A famous college president declares that there are no new jokes.’’ “‘Ah, he does, does he?"* grimly returned the Old Codger. ‘‘Well, he ought to see the husband my niece has just married and brought home to live on me!"” She Had Them She (after the quarrel)—Leave my presence! He (confused) —Why—er—you've got them all! Stumped Little Tommy (reading his Bible)—Pop, what is a hand maiden? Pop—A hand maiden? Great Scott! They didn’t have manicure girls in those days, did they? A Round Dozen A circular letter. A fancy ball. The ring of truth. A well-rounded period. A vicious circle. A good, all-round argument. A round of gayety. A round-about communication, A sphere of influence. A circuitous course. A perfect pill. A “goose egg."’—Gr. B. Merrweod. sesrlltscatn x A blunt man very often makes sharp comments. SHE'S AT LEAST IN SIGHT Burglar—We got lots o' time, Bill. She 's busy powderin’ her nose. “Tam a Christian woman!"’ retorted Mrs. Bunner angrily. Her customer's smile was sadly skeptical as she continued, “At first, Mrs. Bunner, I thought it was your father. Now I know it is your husband’s father. But because he is your husband's father does not release you from your obligation to him. He should have coffee, Mrs. Bunner. One moment, please. I have heard to-day the feeble cry of age in pleading’’—here Mrs. Porter’s voice broke to wavering as she added—‘‘and I re- spond, Mrs. Bunner, I respond. Now, in the name of a customer who has given you her trade for ten long years, I ask you to give your husband’s father his coffee!'" Mre. Porter dropped the lining, and Mrs. Bunner caught it. With a superhu- man effort she forced the sleeves on her customer’s relaxed and shivering arms. “That isn’t my husband's father, Mrs. Porter,’’ she said, in a scathing tone. “That’s my husband’s parrot. He brought it home from his last sea trip.’’ Mrs. Bunner filled her mouth with pins and knelt on the floor to fit the skirt. : “And he swears something awful !"’ SHOCKING A CONNOISSEUR ee ee Col. Lector—I'm very proud of that snuff-box. I picked it up in Paris. The spotlight never yet made an actor. Ingenue—How very interesting! This must be the dent it got when the owner dropped it. comicbooks.com