Judge — May 17, 1913 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Yank and Jap APAN has a chip on her shoulder. As this number of JupGE goes to press, there are grave goings- on in California and the Flowery Kingdom, > while the excitement has communicated with Washington. Ww California's purpose to make a law exclud- ing Japanese from owning real estate in that commonwealth has caused a hullabaloo in Japan, which hasa law excluding foreigners —in¢luding Yankees—-from real-estate ownership in that island empire. The Washington au- thorities are trying to curb California, and authoritative Japanese—wise in their day and generation—are throwing water on the firebrands in that country that blaze for war. It looks to His Honor like six of one’and half a dozen of the other. It is within the range of possibility, according to the excited here, that the Japs may declare war, seize the Philip- pines, grab Haw: lay waste the Pacific coast, and swarm across the continent, to do their worst in intermediate terri- tory and the East. But all this will not happen before JupGE goes to press for the next number of this Court of Pleas- antry. If the Mikado and Uncle Sam should meet personally, it might be that the Emperor of the Flowery Kingdom would forthwith jiu-jitsu our Uncle, lay him by the heels, and make off with his valu- ables. But Uncle Sam, though jiu-jitsu to him is an outlandish mode of proce- dure, has been known in more than one scrimmage to possess and impart what the vulgar term ‘‘the punch.’’ He isa little old now, and slow to affront or an- noy, or to take offense and make ready for trouble; but he is some controversial- ist when he wakes up to his subject. No. When His Honor comes out with his usual smile next week, the Philip- pines, Hawaii, the Pacific coast and ter- ritory lying east thereof will be as they now are. Moreover, the Japs who are now peacefully sojourning in this land, engaged in various pursuits in which they are expert and studying in the Yankee universities to acquire a little more Occidental knowledge and polish, have no concealed weapons about them and will not throw up their jobs or aban- don their books. Vacation "THERE are persons who do not look forward with anticipatory joy to the vacation season, but a majority of such persons are leisurely millioraires and tramps, for whom the vacation season is perpetual. Nobody who can take a vaca- tion and regularly enjoy it will seriously envy either of these classes, who know not the gratification of an intermission from work and go along throughout the year in a round of monotonous seeking after new pleasures or ‘‘hand-outs.”’ This is a peculiar climate, though it is in the temperate zone. Many persons would like to take vacation during that lethargic period marked by ‘‘spring fever,’ but the weather is too fickle then. And when many take vacation, the weather is too hot for them torealize all the comforts looked forward to. There is always a fly in the ointment. There is a growing number of persons who can hardly be attracted from the comforts of home by promises of pleasure that changes of scene may imply. A bed one is used to and food to one’s liking are not always to be lightly abandoned for experiments even in places of great re- sort and pretension. There has been much said of late in ridicule of life in the country for a period that formerly appealed to so many and that still satisfies the many who know where to go. The jokes about canned stuff for the table to be found on the farm have a grain of truth in them, but happy are those who find the farms—and there are plenty of them—where there is no parcel-post competition with the home product. For vacation travelers who seek great resorts, there is nothing in the form of advice to be offered. They know where they want to go and what they want to do, and that ends it. Brief Decisions SATAN might be defeated in some of his enterprises if he used fewer disguises. The traveler who does not absorb knowl- edge might better remain at home. ys pleasing to see the dove of peace alight, and the recent Bryan-Clark burial of weapons of war was impressive. But both Bryan and Clark know where the weapons are buried, and four years is not an age to wait. It is Many who complain of the high cost of living mistake luxuries for necessaries. It may be necessary to fabricate in di- plomacy, but business is another insti- tution. ~~ comicbooks.com