Judge — May 17, 1913 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Mater HER AM BI TION Well, Effie, what are you going to be when you are grown up? Efie—If | was a boy, I'd be president; but seeing I'm a girl, | guess being a rich widow is as good as anything. Early WING to certain changes of national importance down at Washington, Silas Wiggles, for many years postmaster at Queehawkett, has given up the can- cellation hammer and opened a first-class barber shop on Main Street. He says he misses reading the postal cards like hokey. Wilton Dubbs, manager of the Quee- hawkett College Inn, has been mentioned as a possible candidate for the Austrian ambassadorship. We don’t know much about Wilt’s qualifications as a diplomat, but the Hungarian goulash which is a specialty of his popular house ought to make him welcome to his nibs, the Aus- trian Emperor. The recent legislation forbidding the use of the public drinking cup has been met by the ever-resourceful proprietors of the Amagawansett House, who have pro- vided each room in their well-known cara- vansary with individual nozzles, which may be screwed upon the faucet of the water cooler in the office, so that thirsty guests may not be inconvenienced. In view of the large number of auto- mobile cases constantly before the justice of the peace, Squire Waggles, for the convenience of passers-through, has de- Notes from cided to hold court this season at Bilkins’s garage, on Pitts Avenue, where both jus- tice and gasoline may be obtained at short notice at any time of the day or night. The Wotcheer House has had specially designed waffle griddles prepared for its use this season, so constructed that, in- stead of the usual commonplace designs upon their product, each waffle will bear these lines of hope— If you're feeling cold and glummy, Put me in your little tummy; And, whatever woes may grieve you, I at least will never leave you. A most tender and touching sentiment. The interesting news having reached Queehawkett that Miss Mayme Tar- brush’s painting of Mose Higwaller’s cow barn was sold recently to a New York connosher for $2,000, Mose requests us to announce that he has had the cow barn copyrighted and will hereafter pe mit its use for art purposes only on pay- ment of five dollars per day, or with the distinct understanding that he is to receive twenty-five per cent. of the real price at which the picture is subsequently sold. For the benefit of certain of our com- Queehawkett plaining fellow-townsmen, we are re= quested to announce that that portion of Saturday evening's band concert to which they took exception was not a half hour of mere tuning up of the instruments, as they seemed to suppose, but a selection from an opera by a German gentleman named Wagner, called ‘*Die Goetter- d—merung. Of course the public will accept the leader's explanation, but for ourselves we must say that the selection seemed to us to lack the heart appeal of pieces like ‘‘Come, Tango with Me, Sallie, through the Turkey Trot of Life,’’ which, once heard, can never be forgotten. Two new bathtubs for the Riverview House arrived at the railway station last night and will shortly be installed in that ever-popular hotel. An arrangement has been made by the proprietors of the River- view and the pastor of the Central Pres- byterian Church next door, by which the tubs shall not be used on Sunday mornings or prayer-meeting nights, so that there will be no interruption of the operation of the church organ during service for lack of water, as happened last year at the Baptist church every time a guest at the Broadview took a bath. comicbooks.com