Judge, 1913-05-10 · page 20 of 24
Judge — May 10, 1913 — page 20: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertising with humorous filler content**, typical of early 1900s magazines. The main satirical piece is "Sanitary," a poem mocking obsessive germ-consciousness. It depicts a newlywed woman so fixated on eliminating bacteria that she removes all household comforts—carpets, rugs, upholstered furniture—creating a sterile, joyless home. The joke: her husband John escapes to Murphy's bar, where "microbes—and things—abound," preferring actual living to her sanitized prison. This satirizes the emerging germ theory craze and overzealous domestic hygiene advocates of the era. The "Little Conversations" section offers brief joke vignettes typical of period humor—a photographer told not to make his subject look pleasant (wives didn't want husbands appearing happy to mothers-in-law); a man claiming his typewriter is a widow; a rural character suspicious of public drinking fountains. The heavy advertising—Stanley-Rogers credit tailoring, Pears' Soap, Hotel Albert—reflects Judge's revenue model. The page targets middle-class readers with disposable income and contemporary anxieties about health, appearance, and social propriety.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Pay As You Are Able Your Credit Is Good Send your name first—send no money. Get our latest Encyclopedia of hun- ards of istere Pashions les of men’s 1913 Spring Suits and Ov its mailed cash tailors and credit i and your credit is good with us for all you want. MADE-TO-ORDER Your Own Measure No extra charges. No interest. No security asked. Save bie money and compare our end styles with alithere, per! at splendid valves, Sai Take Six Months To Pay Us You take no risk. Your own judge our values. Select your oa from our eample book and then I is Sent On Approval Don’t Delay. You can how dress he ‘a Posts think of It, and get our style book. Stanley-Rogers Co., WRITE US yeaa ay ay TO-DAY Hm World's Poremeat Credit Testre NO CANVASSING, NO COLLECTORS “A scowling look is alto- gether unnatural.” All the features of Pears’ Soap are pleasing. A natu- rally good soap for the com- plexion. Sold by the cake and in boxes. HOTEL ALBERT 11TH STREET AND UNIVERSITY PLACE One Block West of Broadway NEW YORK CITY Close to Wholesale and Retail Dry Goods Districts, Railroad and Lines MODERN ABSOLUTELY FIREPROOF 300 Rooms (200 with Bath) RATES $1.00 PER DAY UP Excellent Restaurant and Cale Moderate Prices Send tor free Ulustrated Guide and Map of New York City Sanitary HE LONG had been an advocate Of ev'ry plan and scheme To have her household, when she wed, A sanitary dream. She was the foe of ev'ry germ; She chased them to their lair. With moistened cloth she routed dust, Which settled anywhere. So, when she wed, she said to John, ‘*Please to remember that We'll have no carpets, have no rugs Or curtains in our flat. We'll have no soft, upholstered chairs— All hardwood and ratta: On picture frames and bric-a-brac She also placed a ban. Jobn had a sanitary home, Where not a germ could play. He'd vacuum cleaners, but no place To rest, at close of day. Thus, when the shades of night came down, John usually was found At Murphy’s, on the corner, where Microbes—and things—abound. Tem W. Jactun, Little Conversations Unrecognizable “Now, sir,"’ said the photographer to Little Binks, ‘‘just try to look pleasant for a moment”’—— “Oh, no, John, don’t!”' interrupted Mrs. Binks. ‘‘This photograph is for my mother, and she'd never recognize him if he were to look pleasant."’ A Sure Thing “Well, I see old man Moneybags gave Lord de Noodles a check for five hundred thousand dollars the day he married Min- nie Moneybags,”’ said Dubb: “*Yes,"’ said Dumpkins. ‘‘And I sup- pose the lord loved the cheerful giver, as usual.’’ Tactfal Dobson had just bought a new type- writing machine. “‘Now, what color ribbon do you want for this machine?”’ asked the salesman, “Oh, black, by all means!’’ Dob- son. You see, my typewriter is a widow."” Egg View Note Old Bide Quimby, who was picked out to go over to Spring Ledge as good-roads committee, drank out of one of them there fountains they call the Sanitary. He claims they was got up by pickpock- ets, and swears that if Egg View ever gets them, before he starts to use them he will shear his whiskers off; because if he couldn't hold his whiskers out of the way and keep his hand on his pocket- book while he was drinking out of the one at Spring Ledge, he can’t do any better here to home. Qualification ‘And have you music in your church?’’ I asked the rural squire. “Not ez I knows on,”’ he replied. **Jes’ singin’ by the choir.’’ TO REAL | WHISKEY Get That Name in your mind—memorize it—say it every time you buy whiskey and you will always get the best. BERNHELM rallye co. i avo concronvlonnh "tammy (c) Judge First National Bank Send 25c now, and the First National Bank will be sent to you by return mail. It's one of the most popular Flagg pic- tures. Nearly 50,000 copies are now hanging in offices, banks and clubs. It's a catchy pic- ture beautifully colored and handsomely mount- ed. Send 25c for it now. Judge 225 Fifth Avenue New York In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com