Judge, 1913-05-03 · page 16 of 24
Judge — May 3, 1913 — page 16: what you’re looking at
A restored page from Judge, 1913-05-03. Page through the whole issue in the reader above.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Pabst .@3. ‘Tite Beer off Legally Guaranteed, Direct from the IMPORTER +f sehir cy dae to Importi This Astonishing Low Price fiimca!"Gsners 10 YOU, t the vs teaching every community, making a small expenses, NO lowes! Every diamond. guat- Boveed tenvloes pertect cat, brilliant ‘You'any Diamond You Wish to Examine to yoorowa city. Erorem tice or bank witbogt tt oa cr oblguing you purchase, No py. : At curernenss) betore vou decide to buy? ind the Full Price IN CASH, low you the full price, tm exchange at 207 tine! We certty 4 Geights quality and value of every Glnnoed! “Oar weaderiul writen Guarantee 1s protection agalast disappolat- teat or low nite INVESTMENT. INSURANCE! DIAMOND BOOK FREE To YOU! Deautifal. costly book ( jot By L. BASCH & CO., Diamond Importers Blind Justice, Indeed [The highest court of Llinois has THE WORLD is blue and very drear, and everything is sad; : The outlook for a summer’s fun, we must confess, is bad. The sky is draped in dull, gray clouds: there is no sun to smile. j The atmosphere seems charged with grief: small things our spirits rile. j There's nothing to look forward to, the future's surely black, And men all pass us sadly by—the world Seems out 0’ whack. “Why all this grief?"" How can you askt Why, everybody knows— Because it's ’gainst the law to smite the umpire on the nose. These times are not like those old days, when our dad was a boy; They used to have such good fun then, baseball was just pure joy. : The sport is going backward now and losing all its class, And, if folks keep on buttin’ in, the day will come to pass When it will be as slow and mild as pie nics or pink teas; Naught will remain to heat our blood, few things the fans to please, Ye These new laws will turn the trick, for goodness only knows There’s not much fun when you can’t hit the umpire on the nose. 24 A. Gore The Temperamental Stenographer The employer of the temperamental stenographer was a man of good common sense and kindly interest, who wanted the girl to succeed at her work. One day, as she was busy powdering her nose, he called her into his private office and had a fatherly talk with her. Later one of her running mates asked her about it. “Say, Sadie,’’ she said, in her refined manner, ‘I hear the boss had a heart-to- heart talk with you this morning. What about it?’’ “‘Heart-to-heart nothing!’’ responded the temperamental creature, tossing ber willow plume like an oriflamme of war. What he handed to me was nothing bat head cheese, and there wasn’t no more heart in it than there is in a slabof fried liver.’” And still we wonder why girl stenog- raphers can be hired for $7 a week. ‘*A Gleam of Light” (The Publisher and. Retailer) There’s just one gleam of light on the horizon, and that is Jupce, which has brightened amazingly within @ few months, Some of the color drawings shot the genius of an Aubrey Beardsley, while the straight black-and-whites are as ged as they should be and illustrate wit and fun and jokes of tiptop quality. Sof as straight, fresh fun is concerne Jupce has the rest of the bunch beast fully skinned. In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com