Judge — April 12, 1913 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

a Stoties ‘with Smiles The Job Nurser.—Senator Lodge was talking in Boston about certain investi- gating committees, “They are like the vrook,”” he said. “They flow on forever. Some of them,. in fact, remind me strongly of Si Hoskins. “Si Hoskins got a job last spring at shooting muskrats, for muskrats overran the mill-owner’s dam. “There, in the lovely spring weather, Sisat on the grassy bank, his gun on his knee; and finding him thus one morning, { tist, an authority who has experi- 4, What are you doing, Si?’ J mented and therefore knows that “I'm paid to shoot the muskrats, sir,’ be answered. ‘They're underminin’ the dam.” “ ‘There goes one now,’ said I. ‘Shoot, man! Why don’t you shoot?’ ’” F Si puffed a tranquil cloud from his ) repeatedly, placing the ipe and said, ‘ reDo you think I want to lose my bottles in the direct sun- job?’ "—St. Louis Globe-Democrat. light, and testing the same Language.—Dr. Osler tells the follow- = one, two, three and ing to illustrate the elasticity of the Eng- ive minutes exposure lish language, as used by the Southern found that the beer with three and five One day there came to the clinic a ne- minutes exposure became undrinkable on account gress with a broken jaw. The examin- of the peculiar odor developed. The detrimental ee parsleian, inten’ 0 discovering: the effect of light upon beer can be successfully counter- ‘sted numerous questions, “To ‘aot acted by the employment of brown or dark colored glass them the negress returned evasive an- bottles, and such bottles are, therefore, recommendable.” swers. Finally she admitted that she —Wahl-Henius Institute of Fermentology. was “hit by a object.’” ‘ a “Was ita large object or a small ob- The Schlitz Brown Bottle is only another step for absolute purity in itt enked the physician. Schl beer. fas ita hard object or a soft object?” We have adopted every invention, every innovation, every idea that ‘olle’by hard.’” 5 “Was it coming rapid.y or slowly?” could make for purity. Schl poncstini “Tolle’by fast.’” Then, her patience eo itz was fret brewed in ethausted, the negress turned to the phy- a hut. Today our agencies dot sician. ‘‘To tell the truth, doctor, I was the earth. Our output exceeds jest simply kick’d in the face by a gen’le- ‘lh 1s man friend."’—Everybody’s Magazine, a million barrels a year Fly in the Ointment.—Two Glasgow Women, meeting one day, fell into con- See that crown or cork versation, and the one said to the other, is branded ‘*Schlitz."” “Aye, Mrs. McTavish, an’ so Jeanie’s etme ee “She has that, Mrs. McAlphine.” e r “Ag howe geting ont | Mat Made Milwaukee Famous. = thing me matters, Eke canna bide = —<—<— re! " J thing,”-Exohenges ere 8 :aye some ATLANTA’S MILLION DOLLAR HOTEL Precision.—President Wilson, at a din- H 0 T E L A L B E R T ner in Washington, said of a statistician, 11TH STREET AND UNIVERSITY PLACE The Stopping THE “His figures are so precise that one in- One Block West of Broadway Place for lines to doubt them. He is like the NEW YORK CITY Southern American sugar planter in Hawaii, who, Close to Wholesale and Retail Dry Goods Tourists taking a friend to the edge of a volcano, Districts, Railroad and Steamship Lines said, MODERN ABSOLUTELY FIREPROOF “That crater, George, is just seventy 300 Rooms (200 with Bath Golf and thousand and four years old.’ RATES $1. & PER DAY UP ) Auto Roads Bat why the four?’ George asked. 1 ‘ ' Excellent Restaurant and Cale ‘Oh, I’ve been here four,’ was the ‘Moderate Prices Fine reply.’ ‘It was seventy thousand when I Send tor tree tllustrated Gaide and Map of New York City Climate | Offers the Best in Hotel Life tame.’ ""— Washington Star. In answering advertisements please mention JUDGE. It will be appreciated. comicbooks.com