Judge, 1913-03-29 · page 8 of 24
Judge — March 29, 1913 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This domestic comedy satirizes marital argument tactics through a Bible dispute. Mrs. Longwed quotes Scripture ("he wipeth Jerusalem as a man wipeth a dish") to compel her husband to help with dishes. Mr. Longwed agrees—but announces he'll "interpret that quotation in my own way." He proceeds to deliberately break dishes while claiming to wipe them, then argues the quotation actually *warns against* Jerusalem's fate, therefore supporting his destructive behavior. The joke exploits selective Biblical interpretation: both spouses twist the same passage to justify opposite conclusions. The satire targets how people—particularly husbands avoiding domestic duties—use rhetorical cleverness and philosophical sophistry to escape obligations, even when trapped by their own logic. It's a humorous commentary on marital power struggles and bad-faith argumentation in early-20th-century households. The second cartoon (bottom) about a fortune-hunting suitor is unrelated.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
It Had Two Meanings By CHARLES CAMPBELL JONES ««AND HE wipeth Jerusalem as a man wipeth a dish,’ quoted Mrs. Long- wed. ‘‘There you have Scripture for it, and that settles the argument. If it had not been intended that a man should help his own wife with the dishes whenever he has time and sbe wants him to, then those words would never have appeared in the Bi- ble. Let's hurry up and get them done."* a Mr. Longwed considered (SD for a moment. “We've had a good many words upon this subject, haven’t we? And now you bring forth a quotation from the Bible to prove that you were always right. But I would like to remark in passing that you have chosen to interpret that quotation in your own way. I demand the same privilege. I suppose that you expect me to accept the ruling as final; and you want me to make the acquaintance of a dish towel forthwith, and you would have me on in- timate terms with that instrument of domestic infelicity forever. All right, I'll help you wipe the dishes; but, madam, I warn you before we be- gin that I intend to inter- pret that quotation in my own way.”” Mrs. Longwed was so surprised that she did not notice the sly smile with which her unwilling as- sistant favored the wall opposite her. Gayly she led the way into the kitch- en, found an apron for her spouse to tie around his neck, gave him a dish towel, and began to pile dishes upon the draining board. Mr. Longwed, wise in his day and generation, said nothing. He began by wiping the handle off a cup which had been in the family since the family began; then he skillfully pinched a piece out of aplate; thencame another cup, which was followed by a painted saucer. Each in turn was damaged, wrecked or made useless, then wiped care- A STRONG INDUCEMENT 1ON Lord Algy—Really, don't you know, I cawn't live without you Geraldine—Well, perhaps papa will pension you fer life fully and laid aside. Mrs. Longwed was so busy thinking what a delightful time was in store for her that she — didn’t notice the finished dishes until her husband had reached for the gravy boat. Then she cast one swift, de- spairing glance upon the ruins and took her hands out of the water, “John Henry Longwed!" she exclaimed. ‘What on earth do you mean? To think that you would deliberately come out into this kitchen and destroy all my beautiful dishes! And after I proved to you that you had to wipe them if you believed in the Bible, too!"” John Henry smiled and as- sumed a learned air. ‘*You mistake my motive, my dear,’ he assured her. ‘‘You fall into an error common to many philosophers — namely, that of seeing only one s of a question. If you will consider closely that quotation you mentioned a little while ago, you cannot help but per- ceive that it boded no good for Jerusalem. That is to Prospective buyer—Is it a healthful neighborhood ? say, Jerusalem had something Salesman—Healthfal? Say, if you 've got aay relatives you expect to inherit money from, don't send ‘em here comicbooks.com