Judge, 1913-03-29 · page 18 of 24
Judge — March 29, 1913 — page 18: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page collects brief humorous anecdotes translated from European and Commonwealth publications, organized thematically. The satire targets universal human follies rather than specific political figures. Key jokes include: a husband confusing an art purchase (Rubens painting) with a horse's horsepower; a German policeman's literal-minded bureaucracy delaying crime response; a British doctor's class consciousness (a Boy Scout offers to help); and marital anxieties (a husband prays upon meeting his wife). The "bashful woman" bit mocks gender hypocrisy—a woman forbids her servant from kissing her fiancé while admitting she doesn't kiss him herself. A child cleverly removes his grandmother's magnifying glasses before asking her to cut cake. The page illustrates Judge's cosmopolitan approach, presenting humor from Berlin, London, Paris, Santiago, and Sydney as evidence of shared middle-class social embarrassments across cultures—marital discord, servant management, romantic awkwardness, and class pretension.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Art and Autos She (making conversation)—Dad bought a Rubens when we were on the continent last year. He (interested at last)—Really! What horse-power?—Sketch (London). as The English-speaking Policeman Lord Bumfiddle—Make haste, Sir! That man bas taken my purse! “Keene Uffrejung, Mylord! Sehn wa also erst heesst 1° mal nach, wat ‘ meek” Lord Bumfiddle—Make haste, Sir! That man has taken my purse! No excitement, My lord. Let us first look up what ‘‘make'’ means in German. —Lustige Blaetter (Berlin). Our Tradesmen ‘“*Why didn’t you send your man to mend my electric bell?”’ “‘He did go, madam; but, as he rang three times and got no answer, he co cluded that there was nobody at home —London Opinion. His Superior Small boy (to doctor about to assist elderly party in a fainting fit)—Stand aside, please, and don't be alarme vil attend to this—I'm a Boy Scout. neh (London). Those Little Society Games “Permetter-moi de venir vous dire mille choses aimables sur votre déliceux visage.” * Alors, c'est un flirt.” “Ma foi, non... C'est un gage qu'on vient de me donner. ‘*Permit me to come and pay you thou- sands of compliments on your charming face."" “Is ita flirtation you want?” The Last Resource She—What would you say if you met your wife now? He—Great Scott! my prayers!—Bul- letin (Sydney, Australia). LoDo Spats—Ob mich der Mensch jetzt fUr einen Lowen hilt? Sparrow—I wonder if that man takes me for a lion.—Lustige Blaetter (Berlin). Natural Relief El—Seforita: jNo mo dice siquiera algo que ar el ardor de mi pasién? i. jCémo no? Vayaa baflarse; es lo mis He—Senorita, can you not tell me some- thing that could calm the fire of my pas- sion? She—Yes. Why not? Go and take a bath. It is the most natural.—Sucesos (Santiago, Chili). The Bashful Woman Tochter des Hauses (zum Dienstmidchen)—Wie kénnen, Cie unverschimte Person, sich unterstehen, sich von meinem Briutigam kUssen zu lassen—das tue Sa ich nicht “mal!” Daughter of the house (to servant girl) —Impudent girl, how can you dare to let my fiance kiss you? Why, even I don’t do that!—Fliegende Blaetter (Munich) Shrewd Jimmy Jim—Granny, do your specs magnify? Granny—Oh, yes, they magnify alittle. Jim—Ah, well, would 'e mind takin’ tem off when you cut my next piece 0’ cake?—Tit-Bits (London). Wrong Again Doctor—Yes, what you want is a change of climate. What is your profession? Patient—I'm the second mate of the “Lizer Ann,” just home from Australia. —London Opinion. politi Whi The bi Wh than comicbooks.com