Judge, 1913-03-29 · page 12 of 24
Judge — March 29, 1913 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is satirical commentary on the early-1900s obsession with physical fitness and eugenics-influenced ideas about muscular development. Colonel Beanfugle, a bombastic character, advocates for mandatory state-enforced calisthenics and pedestrianism, claiming muscle development is civilization's foundation—dismissing intellectual achievement as "rot." The satire targets several contemporary figures and trends: "Sandow" references Eugen Sandow, a famous strongman/bodybuilder whose success relied heavily on publicity; "Ty Cobb" references the baseball player's aggressive success. The colonel's extreme proposals—abolishing automobiles, mandatory dawn exercises, legal penalties for riding streetcars—mock the era's pseudo-scientific wellness movements and government paternalism. The lower cartoon, credited to Tad (likely cartoonist Tad Dorgan), provides comic relief with a domestic joke about marriage bureaus.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
—tanforr sg AS THEIR FIRST LITTLE NEST LOOKED TO THEM THIRTY YEARS AGO Colonel Beanfugle on Culture Physical By ARTHUR CHAPMAN «JT IS positively appalling,’’ said Colonel Beanfugle to his wife, ‘‘how many potential Sandows there are in the world who are never being developed.”” “‘Who is, or was, Sandow?’’ queried Mrs. Beanfugle. “A reincarnation of Hercules, with a press-agent attach- ment,"’ informed the colonel. ‘‘Sandow was a strong man, who got a strong calcium light to play on him and hired a strong press agent to strong-arm various city editors out of valuable newspaper space, with the result that for years now Sandow has been batting at a Ty Cobb clip in the Financiers’ League. “But it makes no difference,’’ proceeded the colonel, ‘‘by what means one is led to take up physical culture—the result is certain to be a contribution to social and industrial advance- ment which cannot be overestimated. Primarily the world is dependent upon muscle for its very existence. We prate about brains in the development of civilization, but all that is rot. At the basis there must be muscle. Now, think how we would advance if all the untrained muscles of civilized peoples were put to proper use. Suppose a system of universal calisthenics were devised and made compulsory. Suppose riding in street cars were made punishable by heavy fines and automobiles were abolished. Think how vastly civilization would benefit by the resulting pedestrianism. Then suppose this pedestrianism were reinforced by a system of exercises for the arms and body. Flabby Mr. Jones, for instance, is compelled by law to rise at six, go through a certain number of stunts on the horizontal bar or at the punching bag, take a cold plunge, and then walk to work. You'd never recognize Citizen Jones in three months, All those dead and flabby muscles of his, which now represent part of society’s waste product, would be conserved. Citizen Jones would become a human dynamo. Under him he would have a lot of other human dynamos, all animated by the compulsory exercises outlined by the State. Greece, in her days of Marathons and all that sort of thing, wouldn’t be in it. The age of conservation of muscle would be the greatest age in the world. What couldn’t be accomplished by a ci whose fattest man could leap a five-barred fence without the slightest effort?’’ CORRECT DEFINITION Tad—Pa, what 's a matrimonial bureau? Dad—It's 2 bureau, son, with six drawers packed full of wom- an‘s fixings and one man's necktie. comicbooks.com