Judge — March 29, 1913 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Love Lyrics of Phyllis By JOHN KENDRICK BANGS To Corydon ‘OU'VE offered me, oh, Corydon, your hand, And with it goes a large A) estate in land. 4D In household goods and chattels you've a store, With motor cars and horses by the score. Much art have you, at least upon your walls, And china rare, till e’en Satsuma palls. A mansion by the sea; one in the hills; An Adirondack lodge, with well-stocked rills; A dwelling in the town of stately mold, Built in the fashion of chateaux of old; And in your safe-deposit boxes rest Uncounted shares and bonds, all of the best. All, all of these you offer unto me, To have and hold mine own, forever free. The hand, I vow, as manly hands do go, Is full as handsome as I chance to know. The riches niuch appeal, and I confess I think they’d help me in the line of dress. I dote on motoring, and horses fine Have ever thrilled this woman's heart of mine. Rare paintings satisfy, and potteries My inner soul and outward eye do please— Yet must I e’en renounce them in this case, For, candidly, I cannot stand your face! Agricultural Item “Uncle Bill, when people sow wild oats, what do they raise?” “The devil usually, Willie.” A Wise Child T little daughter of a prominent di- vine, whom it would be cruel to name, was recently taken to her father's church for the first time. She was, of course, intensely interested in all that went on. A true little Yankee, her first remark to her mother on coming out was, “Do all those little boys in nighties get paid for singing?” “Yes, I suppose so,"” mother. “And does father get paid, too?’” “Yes,’" replied her STOPPING AT THE WALDORF “Well, I shouldn’t think they’d have to pay him much, for he does nothing but talk, and he just loves to do that.”” As the Poet Remarks “We look before and after And pine for what is not.’” The cards we throw away one hand Would help the next a lot! Mistakes are a necessary part of the discreet man’s education. A Maternal Victory «« ROBBY. dear!” Re enn “Time to get up.” “All right,’ says Robby, as he settles himself for another nap. Thirty minutes pass. “Robby !”” **Whacher want?” “I want you to get right out of that!"” “Well, I will.’” Fifteen minutes later. “Robert !"" “What you want now?” “You know what I want. I want you togetup. Thisis the third time Thave called, and you know I never speak but once. Right up now!"” Twenty minutes pass. “Robert Edgar Blank!’ “What is it?’” “I simply don’t mean to call you again, sir! Breakfast was over more than an hour ago!"” The clock ticks off another quarter of an hour. “Rob!’” “Well, well?” “Tt’s anything but well, with you lying there in bed at this hourof the day. Now, sir, Ido not mean to speak to you again. If you are not down here in just five minutes, I'll know the reason why, and so will you, to your sorrow!"” Robby appears half an hoor later, and the victorious mother says, “Aha! so you are up, are you? You see, Robby, that when mother speaks to you, you have to mind. I should have thought you would have known that when I first called you. I am not one of those foolish mothers who say a thing, and then pay no attention as to whether it is obeyed or not. Now, brush your hair, while mother sets some breakfast out for Max Merryman, EVOLUTION OF THE CLAWHAMMER CRITIC comicbooks.com